How time flies...

Alhamdulillah it has been almost a month (29 days to be exact) since I started my new 'job'.

I can tell you this much: It's the most tiring job! I expected it to be tiring, but still it's so much more tiring than I thought!

It is also the most rewarding job ever! Alhamdulillah.

(I'd love to write more, but now that Adreena and Muiz are sleeping, I'd better go and get lunch ready.)

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So we said goodbye to Bibik on Friday. I am grateful to report that there was no drama swasta  at the airport that night. Alhamdulillah


I think a huge part of the ‘success’ was because we decided to tell the kids about our plan just before we left home for the airport. Afiq was not so happy about going to nursery, Mariessa was eager, Adreena, well she doesn’t understand anything yet. So Shahril told them that they only have to go to the nursery for 5 days.


Mata terbeliak… “5 days je?”

“Lepas tuuuu?”

“Lepas tu duduk kat rumah la, macam biasa”

“Sapaaa nak jaga kitoranggg"?”


“Mama cuti?”

“Takkkk… Mama dah berhenti kerja”

“Hahhhh?? Berhennnntiiiii?” Terbeliak some more.

“Sampai bila bila?”

“Iye, sampai bila bila la, InsyaAllah”






A few seconds later



“Alamakkkkkkk… maksudnya siang dengan malam lah kena mengaji dengan Mama??” <- guess who said this.




Spent the Saturday in Bangi.


EndSeptember (3)


Baruuuu je masuk lift,

Edrick: Errr..Aunty Reennn.. I forgot my goggles, I cannot swim without my goggles.


Naikkkkkkkkk atas balik. :)


EndSeptember (4)Berlima… riuh sekampung.

By the way, that’s as far as Adreena would go. Baru masuk sikittt je..”Mamaaaaa, basahhhhhhhhhhhh!” Hish.



See? Still there.



Sent the kids to the nursery this morning. We were not sure what was the best way to go about it – Shahril & I send the kids together ke, I send the barang2 dulu and then Shahril sends kids ke… Sebab we know if I was there, mesti lah ada drama sikit (not me, kids lah of course). Problem solved when tiba tiba, enjin Savvy tak boleh start. I find it amazing in ways Allah answers us.


So berangkut la semuanya (except Afiq who has left for school) ke nursery. Sampai nursery - Muiz tak faham apa2 lagi. Buat muka heran je. Adreena who was excited dari pagi about going to nursery, sampai pagar je, dah stop. Tak nak jalan. Pujuk2.. masuk la jugak ke dalam. Kat pintu rumah, stop lagi. Last2, we kissed her goodbye and terus masuk kereta. Meraung la itu budak. “Mama! Mama! Taknak! Taknak!”.. Kannnn dah kata, mesti ada drama kalau Mama ada.


I got in the car, terus nangis! <- Ini yang sebenar2nya drama. Hehe.


Mariessa saw me crying and said “Takpe lah Mama.. Nanti Kakak balik sekolah, Kakak tengokkan Deena dengan Muiz”


I, of course lah cried harder. Drama, kan?


Had breakfast with Shahril and Mariessa kat kedai after that. Senyappp je masing2. Then Shahril said, “we’re doing the right thing”.

Me: which right thing?

Shahril: Ainil resign tu.

Me: Kalau Ainil belum resign, hari ni jugak hantar surat rasanya. :)


It’s going to be 5 chaotic days. But thinking of the days to come after that 5 days, I know it’s sooo going to be worth it.



Cepat la pukul 6. I just want to go home.


- is my last Friday at the office. I have to work until Thursday next week. After that I’ll be putting on a totally different hat. One I’ve been dreaming of, waiting for, praying for, but at the same time one that makes me excitedly nervous.

- 2 of Shahril’s uncles are going for Hajj. Bila dengar Talbiyah, hati rasa bergetar, air mata terus mengalir. Semoga Allah menjemput kita menjadi tetamuNya dalam masa yang terdekat ni, InsyaAllah. Perkenankan lah doa doa kami, Ya Allah. Hanya Engkau lah yang mengetahui isi hati kami.

- Bibik’s going home for good. Kids have been told about this since last week as to prepare them. They are also told that they’ll be going to nursery starting next week. What they don’t know yet is, they will only go to the nursery for a week. We’re keeping it a secret still, until I don’t know, maybe tonight?

- Going for lunch with the girls at the office. I’m touched and honoured. Rasa perasan glamour sikit pun ada that some friends have asked to ‘book’ me for lunch next week. Thank you girls and guys! :)


I’m having mixed feelings. Ada rasa sedih, ada rasa happy, ada risau. Sending the kids to nursery makes me worry. Afiq & Mariessa can InsyaAllah cope. I’m not too sure about Adreena though. Muiz lagi lah. Itu lah yang paling merisaukan. Deep down I know (I hope), they’ll be fine. But i’m a mother. Worrying about my kids is what I do.

Muiz5months 5 months old now. How time flies.

My thoughts are jumbled up at the moment. Apart from finishing whatever work I still have, I can’t stop thinking about the million things I want to do at home. Have to start planning. Have to start making schedules and lists for me and for the kids;


1. Daily activities with Adreena & Muiz while Afiq & Mariessa are at school.

2. Activities with Afiq & Mariessa when they’re home.

3. What to cook for breakfast, lunch and dinner. At least for the next 2 weeks or so. So we can shop accordingly. (I have to get that 1 hari 1 resepi cookbook).

4. Those new recipes I’d like to try but never had the time to.

5. My own schedule. – What time to wake up, how often do I iron (excited to try our new vertical clothes steamer – I take it as a ‘resignation’ gift from Shahril), how often do I mop (this, i dread. I don’t like doing it. Can anyone suggest a really, really good mop? Saw one at Cosway, quite fancy, not too sure how good though). Also to “include'” Shahril in the chores. Sidai baju has always been his favourite task, so let’s leave that to him among other things, of course. :)

6. Where to go on weekends. Hehe. I’ll be home 5 days a week now kan, so I have to go out to widen my horizons on weekends lah, ye tak?

And the list goes on and on. Do wish me luck, guys.


I hope I can be istiqamah and be the kind of wife and mother I’ve always wanted to be. InsyaAllah.

A friend wrote this on  her FB wall, taken from another FB wall. I like it a lot, so I thought I’d share it here.


1. Make peace with your past, so it doesn’t spoil your future.

2. What others think of you is none of your business.

3. Time heals almost everything. Give the time, some time.

4. No one is the reason for your happiness, except for yourself.

5. Don’t compare your life with others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

6. Stop thinking too much, it is alright not to know all the answers.

7. Smile – you don’t own all the problems in the world.


I googled and found a lot of other variations too. Among the ones that I like:


1. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

2. Showing gratitude is one of the simplest yet most powerful things humans can do for each other.

3. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

4. If you know GOD, you will always be happy. So, be happy.

5. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does

6. Forgive. Don’t ruin your present happiness

7. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

9. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: In five years, will this matter?

10. Forgive everyone for everything. Don't hold grudges against anyone. It only hurts you.

11. Remember GOD heals everything. Prayer can change things when nothing else will

12. The best is yet to come. You will reap what you sow.

Baked this Marble Cheese Brownies last weekend. Got it from a friend. Apparently the recipe is all over the internet too. :).


MARBLE CHEESE BROWNIES – I’m copying it from K.Nor@SecubitGaram

sumber: Rinnchan
sumber : K.Nor@SecubitGaram
Bahan-bahan Brownies :
250g butter
1 cwn serbuk koko
3 biji telur gred B
1 1/2 cwn gula castor
1/2 cwn susu cair
1 1/2 cwn tepung gandum *Ayak dgn BP & SB
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp soda bikarbonate
1 tsp esen vanilla

1. Cairkan butter. Masukkan serbuk koko dan kacau rata.
2. Handwhisk gula dan telur. Masukkan ke dalam adunan butter+koko. Kacau sebati.
3. Masukkan susu cair dan kacau sebati.
4. Masukkan tepung+BP+SB sedikit demi sedikit sambil dikacau hingga sebati. Akhir sekali, masukkan esen vanilla dan kacau rata.
5. Panaskan oven pada suhu 175 darj cel. Alas loyang 10" x 10" dgn grease proof paper. Biar kertas berjuntai pada dua belah yang bertentangan supaya mudah mengeluarkan brownies.
6. Tuang adunan brownies ke dalam loyang dan ratakan. Tinggalkan sedikit untuk membuat marble di atas lapisan cheese nanti.
7. Bakar selama 20min menggunakan api atas dan bawah.

Bahan-bahan lapisan cheese:
250g cream cheese
1 cwn gula castor
1 biji telur gred B

1. Pukul cream cheese hingga gebu.
2. Masukkan gula dan pukul lagi hingga sebati.
3. Masukkan telur dan pukul lagi hingga sebati.
*Selepas 20min keluarkan brownies dari oven. Tuangkan adunan cheese dan ratakan. Paipkan baki adunan brownies ke atas lapisan cheese dan lorekkan corak ikut citarasa. Masukkan semula ke dlm oven dan bakar lagi selama 15min atau sehingga cheese masak. Biarkan sejuk sebelum dipotong.


*Best to chill it first before cutting.


 Marble Cheese Brownies

The only picture I have.

It’d be better in a square tin but since I don’t have one, bulat pun bulat lah.:)


Afiq gave me two thumbs up, so I know this recipe is a keeper!

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That’s the title of the email I received today from BabyCenter on Adreena’s progress. I find it really amazing that most of the time they can be spot on like that!


What strikes me the most is the fact that Adreena is still a 2-year-old. I hardly think of her as a 2-year-old to be honest. She’ll be 3 at the end of November but I’ve thought of her as a 3-year-old since early of the year and I now realize that it’s really unfair of me.


The rest of the email: from here


As you've noticed, 2-year-olds are striving for independence. They tend to ignore their parents' no's because they're determined to assert their own will. (Aih, this is soooo true!) Their motor and language skills are booming (that explains her talking non-stop. :P), too, which makes them perfectly capable of both running away from you and loudly proclaiming that they're unhappy with (or simply unwilling to abide by) your request. As frustrating as this may be (very, very frustrating sometimes), take heart in the fact that your child is practicing her new skills on the person she trusts most — namely you (Yay!). What's more, she's still a long way from being able to control herself. So when you tell your child to stop playing with the telephone cord, she may be able to think of nothing but the cord and find it nearly impossible to put down.

When you find yourself in a moment like this — and you will — be patient (Easier said than done..:p). Distract your child from trouble whenever possible, and provide a stimulating, childproofed environment that gives you plenty of opportunities to say yes. Then choose your battles carefully and focus on the transgressions that are truly worthy of reprimand — such as running into the street or pinching her baby brother. When you do say no, make sure you mean it.

Since early last week Shahril has informed me that we were going to his friend's open house on Sunday. It was his friend's first time hosting since he just got married sometime last year, so naturally we were excited to go eventhough this means going all the way to Klang.

Shahril tried to call his friend before we went out to get his advice on direction but he didn't pick up. So, armed with a map which he had given in an email and also with a kadang-boleh-on-kadang-tak-boleh-on GPS navigator, we set out for Klang.

Took the SILK highway, on to SKVE, down to NKVE and then reached the Shapadu's Bukit Raja toll.

Just as we were 7 kilometres (according to the GPS navigator which could be switched on that day) away from the friend's house, he called back.

Turns out his open house is NEXT Sunday!

Obviously Shahril's getting a little too old. :p

But then I realized it's ME who's getting old (although I'm always 3 years younger than Shahril, let's not forget that) because when Shahril turned to me and told me that the open house is NEXT week and that we have travelled FORTY kilometres just to turn back, I did not get upset! In fact I was not even annoyed! (I'm a 'panas' person, for those who don't know me.. And I usually get annoyed very, very easily. So, this not getting mad is new).

We both just laughed, took the next turn and stopped by at the nearest fast food outlet we could find.

The hikmah is, the kids got to have their lunch at KFC all the way in Shah Alam. :)
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I recently made a huge decision. A decision which will definitely change my life when it takes effect. It wasn't an easy decision to come to, I've been thinking about it for so long, looked at it from all angles imaginable, playing with it in my mind in so many scenarios. It is a very logical decision to make but logics don't always make things easy.

I always believe that things don't just happen. Things happen for reasons that are sometimes too big for us to understand. Sometimes I think things happen as signs that lead us to bigger things. They don't always make sense when they happen but at one point when we look back and think about it, it always does. .

I have come to a point where I think I've seen and felt too many signs. I've been praying about it for so long that I've become accustomed to just praying about it. It took some time for me to digest the signs, but I am relieved that I have finally understood them.

Still, it wasn't easy. I am lucky to have full support from Shahril. He thinks it's time we take ourselves out of our comfort zone. "How can we expect different results if we keep doing the same things?" - that's what they always say at work and I think it applies here too.

My intention is clear and if our deeds are judged by our intentions, I hope I'll always remember why I'm doing this. Doing something "lillahi ta'ala" (semata2 kerana Allah) sounds so simple and yet I think it's extremely hard to achieve. I'm taking baby steps and I pray that my next chapter in life will be blessed.

Note to self: Someone at work recently said, " If you're climbing a ladder, first make sure that the ladder is against the right wall". I am climbing no ladder, but I am sure InsyaAllah, I have the right walls around me.

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I was sitting on the bed with Muiz. Afiq had just finished his solat Subuh.


Afiq: Mama, bila Muiz nak besar ni? Abang ada banyak benda la Abang nak ajar dia.

Mama: Abang nak ajar Muiz apa?


Looking at Muiz,

Afiq: Abang nak ajar Muiz main bola, main badminton, hmmm… main chess, tapi chess susah sikit la Muiz, tapi Abang akan cuba ajar jugak. Lagi, Abang nak ajar Muiz solat, mengaji… macam2 lah Mama.


Afiq, Muiz is lucky to have you as a brother.


And I am the luckiest mother.



Exactly a year ago, Shahril and I went for the most meaningful trip of our lives. It was life altering in so many ways, I can never be thankful enough that Allah has bestowed upon us the ‘rizq’ and invited us to be His guests.


It honestly doesn’t feel like it has been a year since then. There hasn’t been a day that I didn’t wish we could go back. Go back we must, as it felt like we belong there. Hopefully soon, we will be called to perform the Haj. Soon too InsyaAllah, we hope to be able to go with our kids in tow. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.





Wahai Tuhan kami! Janganlah Engkau memesongkan hati kami sesudah Engkau beri petunjuk kepada kami, dan kurniakanlah kepada kami limpah rahmat dari sisiMu; sesungguhnya Engkau jualah Tuhan Yang melimpah-limpah pemberianNya.









Please grant us your blessings and rizq Ya Allah.



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A lot to tell since I’m back at work. But boy, time sure is tight. Ok lah, I should not put the blame on time. Everybody gets the same 24 hours. But my 24 hours is really shorter than everyone else’s. Hehe.. Nak jugak tu.


I feel like I’m rushing all the time, really. I wake up and I rush to work. I get to work and I rush home. At home I struggle to do everything I want to do – divide my time between Shahril and the kids. Not that they demand for it, especially not Shahril. It’s me. It’s not as easy as it used to be. Actually, everything is not as easy as it used to be, not when you have a newborn. Don’t get me wrong, I am far from complaining. I am just stating the truth. I am in the phase of adjusting. Tengah warming up lah senang cerita, to the new routine.


At work, I am struggling too. 2 months is a long time to be away from work. (Not enough to be away on maternity though, if you get what I mean). The first cycle of the financial year is closing soon, so I have to catch up on lost time and at the same time sprint towards the finishing line. Again, it’s not easy but I am adjusting and catching up, InsyaAllah.


One thing I notice though, my capability of making small talks has decreased so significantly. I just get tongue tied and my mind goes blank. My wits (assuming I had any) is just gone. It doesn’t help that people sometimes ask me questions that make me go…’duh!’ (dalam hati). Their intentions are undoubtedly good lah, but how to answer meh? I don’t want to be sarcastic and offend them but at the same time I really don’t know how to answer them best.


Contohnya, a lady upon knowing that I have just given birth asked: “Eh bila you pregnant?”

In my mind (beside ‘duh!’) I thought, should I just say “9 months ago?”. Or should I laugh and say.. “Eh tak lah.. I x pregnant pun… I bersalin je!”


One other time, upon seeing me washing some of my pumping accessories, someone said “ Your baby mesti comel, macam mak dia”

Should I say A: Of course! (perasan la pulak kan? Hehe)

                    B: Eh tak lah… my baby je comel. I comel ke? (obviously fishing)

                    C: Eh mana ada. I lagi comel! (Confidence at its best).


Tough, kan?


Oh well…


Have lots more to write about, but I have an SOP to write first. Bo…ring…. :P


A lot of people tell me that Muiz takes either after Afiq or Adreena. I personally think that he takes after Afiq a lot. But see whether you can tell them apart. These are photos of all 4 of them at about the same age (2-3 months).


Children The shahrils (minus THE Shahril himself, hehe)

Mama: Adreena, tolong ambikkan telefon Mama boleh tak?
Adreena: Tak bulehhhh
Mama: Ala.. Tolong lahhhh
Adreena: Okay lah. Mama cakap plish dulu.
Mama: Please...
Adreena: Butan, butan. Butan mcm tu. Mama kena cakap plish Meena..
Mama: Please, Deena.
Adreena: Haaa.. Baru botol (betul). Dud (good) job, Mama.
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It’s day 4 since we let Bibik bercuti. She has a daughter in JB and last weekend we offered Bibik some days off to go visit.


Bibik has done so much for us, especially since I gave birth. I terminated the confinement lady’s service after only 2 days instead of having her for two weeks (long story) and so since then Bibik was the one who took care of me and basically the whole family. It’s a bonus that she’s also able to do all the urut and tungku stuff, Alhamdulillah. Now that school holiday is here, we thought it’s only appropriate that we let her rest for a change. Plus I am already up and about.


As for me, mula2 tu anxious la jugak. To let her go off during school holidays means I’ll be at home with FOUR kids all to myself 24x7. Hehe. On top of that, on Sunday the day before Bibik cuti pulak, we sent Afiq for circumcision. Interesting household I have right now. :)


As I said.. today is day 4 and I have to say I’m loving it. It’s tough and it’s highly depending on Muiz’s mood basically. If he get’s too clingy, everything else has to be put on hold. But so far, I think we’re doing great.


In a way, I am testing myself. I wanted to know if I’m really up to it – being a full time mom. I believe it’s the toughest ‘job’ in the world. No annual leave, no emergency leave not even sick leave. It’s something I want to do though, but I do have my doubts. Now that I’ve experienced it for 4 days so far, I can safely say that there’s no job in this world that can give me the kind of satisfaction I get by doing just this. I pray that the time will come soon for me to do this full time.


Bibik is leaving us for good come October. Her 2 years with us is up and as I have expected, she wants to go home. She has a daughter of Mariessa’s age and I understand her priority. She has given up 2 years with her daughter to work with us, and for that I shall forever he grateful. We have decided not to look for another maid, so since I cannot quit my job just yet it looks like we have to send the kids to daycare once Bibik leaves. I hope the next chapter will be a smooth one for us, InsyaAllah.

I was holding Muiz in my arms when he looked up and I thought, Oh my God, I'm in love!

The feeling was so overwhelming that the next thing I know, I was in tears.

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It’s been a while since I last wrote a proper entry here. A lot to cope up with – recuperating, trying to establish a routine, handling a newborn and three toddlers etc. It’s overwhelming sometimes if not most of the time honestly, but I’m doing good nonetheless.


Baby Muiz is 34 days old today, Alhamdulillah. How time flies. That means I only have 26 days left before going back to work. I am freaking out. I am soooo not ready. So much so that there are days I wish I have the guts to just quit my job and be a stay-at-home-mom. Half of the time I think I even manage to convince myself that I should just do it, that if my ‘niat’ is right, all will go well in the end but the other half of the time, I am not so sure. I know eventually it will happen, but I’m not too sure if now is the time.


Oh well…


Afiq, Mariessa and Adreena are adjusting well, Alhamdulillah. Afiq is definitely happy to have another boy in the house and can’t wait for Muiz to grow up so they can play together. (I guess he’s tired playing with girls.. haha. Asyik kena mengalahhhhhh je) Mariessa is happy being a 2nd mother to Muiz, fussing over him. Adreena… well… other than hiding behind the sofa everytime “Muiz beyak”, she’s doing great! She calls him “Muish-tudin”, sometimes “baby boy”, but last night when Muiz cried, she shouted “Mama… cepat sini.. budak ni nangis!”. Tak tau la daripada mana dia dengar ‘budak’ tu. :P


7 years ago, I struggled to breastfeed Afiq (largely due to my ignorance – I thot it would come naturally, so I didn’t read much about it prior) and I miserably failed. So this is more or less like the first time for me breastfeeding a boy. Oh boy, the difference! Muiz can’t seem to get enough of milk, and it’s not because the supply is low I assure you that! With 26 days to go, I now only have one bottle of EBM stock in the freezer and I honestly don’t know if I can get as much stock prepared as I had done with Mariessa and Adreena. We’ll see how it goes. I am determined not to let this worry me too much – no use worrying over this anyway, it will only affect the supply if not anything else. :)


( As I was writing this, Adreena came to me and said..”Mama.. kenapa ni monyok monyok ni?” Hahahah.. Ada2 je budak ni!).


Muiz will wake up soon for his feed, I think. So I should just publish this before it becomes another draft. :). Have a lot more to write about, if and when the time permits InsyaAllah. Until then..

It's our 8th wedding anniversary today, Alhamdulillah. Since 3 of my children are born in April, this means today is my 3rd time 'celebrating' our anniversary during the confinement period. :).

To my wonderful husband, I don't think words can express how blessed I feel to have you in my life. Thank you for being the coolest, the calmest and the most patient man I've ever known. Thank you for sticking with me through thick and thin and for holding my hands through our happy moments as well as difficult times (think labor room :) ).

Semoga jodoh kita berkekalan hingga ke hujung hayat & semoga kita dipertemukan semula di Jannah, InsyaAllah.

With all my heart, I love you.
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Alhamdulillah, Shahril and I would like to introduce -



Afif Muizzuddeen Bin Shahril

Born on 22nd April 2012 at 4.56pm weighing 3.75kg.



Semoga menjadi anak yang soleh..

Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.

We took Afiq & Mariessa out earlier today to buy them a new pair of baju melayu & baju kurung. The original plan was to bring Adreena along as well, but since she was asleep we decided to leave her with Bibik.

About 2 hours after we went out:

Afiq: Mama, Abang rindu la kat Deena.
Mariessa: Kakak pun! Kakak rasa macam dah lamaaaa tak jumpa Deena.

Needless to say, my heart just melted.
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Hopefully I’ll get to sit down and write soon, InsyaAllah. I do miss writing but time is really not on my side. Until then, a sneak peek to the highlight of the school holidays. :)



Am now at the hospital waiting for my 32nd week checkup with Dr. A. Went to the hospital's surau earlier. One lovely lady was already in the surau when I went in:

LL: Dah azan ke dik?
Me: Dah, dah, baru je habis azan.
LL: Terima kasih. Ni dah cukup bulan ke?
Me: Belum lagi. Baru nak masuk 8 bulan, InsyaAllah.
LL: Ohhh.. Anak sulung ke ni?
Me: Tak, ni yang no 4, InsyaAllah.
LL: Ohhh, nampak mudaaaa lagi.

Lovely lady, wasn't she? :D

As I mentioned, I am now entering the 32nd week. Checkup is now 3 weeks apart. The last time we saw Dr A, she estimated Baby A weighing at 1.6kg already, Alhamdulillah. I am already so huge, people at the office have started asking when I'm going to pop or whether I'm carrying twins on a daily basis!

Ironically, work has never been heavier and I'm not even exaggerating! I am enjoying it although I can't stop wishing I could just work from home since morning traffic is horrendous these days and sitting too long is giving me pain all over. Oh well... :)

My turn's to see Dr. A. Praying that all's well, InsyaAllah.




A lil update:


Here’s Baby A at 32 weeks. See how chubby he already is? ;)



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I have been idle from the blog, I know. Almost a month now, I myself can’t almost believe it. A lot of things had happened since then. Some are good stuff which stayed good, some are good but didn’t turn out so good in the end, some didn’t start so good but ended well and some unfortunately stayed not so good. All of which leads to one thing: me analysing myself.. and my priorities. Muhasabah diri nak senang cerita.


Betullah, kesenangan dan kesusahan itu makanya 2 jenis ujian Allah yang sama tapi berbeza. Often times, I find kesenangan to be a much harder test to pass. Senang sangat hanyutnya. And probably that’s where I have been, unfortunately without me realizing it. Hanyut. Fortunately though, harap2nya hanyutnya saya tak berpanjangan.


So here I am, at the end of my 2-day sick leave. It was a good 2 days of rest, although I didn’t entirely restrict myself to bed rest. It’s quite funny how the pain came back just as the 2 days were coming to and end, eventhough all the while I was feeling much better. I guess it’s a reflection of the state of mind. Mind over matter kinda thing.


Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day.


More aptly, hopefully tomorrow will see me as a better person.

For a year or so now, I’ve been reading Prof Kamil’s blog. Just before I went for umrah, I bought his books too. Something about the way he writes, touches my heart. When reading his entry, most of the time, tak sedar airmata mengalir.


I know I don’t have that many readers, but I thought something this great should be shared even with just one other person. So I’m copying this from Prof Kamil’s blog, in case any of you are interested.


Masjid KRTS

Pelancaran Tabung Masjid KRTS

Jika anda sudi menjadi 100 penyumbang RM100/sebulan selama 24 bulan, sila maklumkan kepada saya di bagi tujuan rekod dan peringatan yang anda mempunyai komitment.

Tuan/puan boleh membayar RM2400 dengan sekali bayar atau dibayar setiap bulan.

Bagi mereka yang lain, sumbanglah setakat mana yang termampu. Di takdirkan saya meninggal dunia, Roza akan meneruskan usaha-usaha ini – insyaAllah – sehingga berjaya.

Saya mohon dimaafkan.

Sumbangan boleh dibayar melalui akaun maybank Raudzah Roslan: 112102080097 yang sudah kosong dan dikhaskan untuk projek ini semata-mata.

Jumlah Terkumpul 19 Januari 2012: RM4800

Sasaran: RM300000 (19.1.2014)

Lokasi: Di kawasan yang sangat-sangat memerlukan sebuah masjid yang akan ditentukan kemudian.


Semoga sumbangan kita, banyak atau sedikit akan memberi manfaat yang berpanjangan. Amin.



Mariessa: Mama, hari ni hari apa?
Mama: Hari ni hari Khamis, sayang.
Mariessa: Ooooo.. Khamis tu Tuesday eh?
Mama: Bukan, Khamis is Thursday.
Mariessa: Oooo Thursday! Lepas Khamis, hari apa pulak?
Mama: Lepas Khamis, Jumaat.
Mariessa: Jumaat tu... Friday?
Mama: Yes! Very good. Jumaat is Friday.
Mariessa: Lepas Jumaat?
Mama: Lepas Jumaat, Sabtu. Kakak tau tak Sabtu tu apa in English?
Mariessa: Tau tau tau. Sabtu tuuuuuu Saturday!
Mama: Good job! Lepas Saturday hari apa?
Mariessa: Hmmmm... Kakak rasa, lepas Saturday mestiiii lah Sunday kan Mama?
Mama: Pandai!
Mariessa: Tapi Sunday tu hari apa?
Mama: Sunday tu.. Ahad.
Mariessa: Lepas Ahad?
Mama: Lepas Ahad, Isnin. Isnin tuuuu...
Mariessa: Kakak tau, Kakak tau, Kakak tauuu! Isnin tu Monday! Lepas Isnin?
Mama: Lepas Isnin... Selasa.
Mariessa: Selasa tu Tuesday kan, Mama?
Mama: Ye sayang. Lepas Tuesday?
Mariessa: Lepas Tuesday Kakak tau. Wednesday! Sebab Wednesday Kakak boleh pakai baju sukan pegi Little Caliphs kan, Mama?
Mama: Ye sayang. Pandai anak Mama.
Mariessa: Wednesday tu Rabu kan? Lepas Rabu?
Mama: Lepas Rabu, Khamis!
Mariessa: Ohhhh... Dah Khamis lagi sekali rupanya. Hmmmmmm.. Lepas Khamis tadi hari apa pulak Mama?

Adoih! :p

If it's not because I was rushing to send Afiq to school pagi tadi, I'm sure we would have repeated the conversation at least 3 more times! :) . That's so Mariessa. :)
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.


Rindunya hati, Masya Allah.

Jabal Rahmah on the background.

Mengikut sejarah, Jabal Rahmah merupakan tempat pertemuan semula Nabi Adam dan Hawa di dunia setelah sekian lama terpisah. Maka, ramai yang berdoa di sini agar dipertemukan dengan jodoh yang ditentukanNya. Doa saya, semoga jodoh kami berkekalan hingga ke akhir hayat dan semoga dipertemukan semula kami di Jannah. Amin.


I’m wearing exactly that to the office today. Have never done it before as I’d usually pair the jubah with a coloured tudung. Tak tau kenapa hari ni terasa nak berpakaian serba hitam. I started to love wearing like that then, and I love it even more now. It makes me feel liberated. Semoga ia sesuatu yang dapat berterusan, InsyaAllah.

Mariessa normally goes to Little Caliphs berlenggang kangkung. But last December when we went shopping for Afiq’s school bag, she insisted on one too. So we bought her one. Yesterday I let her bring her bag to LC.


At noon when I called her…

Mariessa: Mamaaaaaaaaaaa… (kalau meleret leret ni, mesti ada maknaaa)

Mama: Haaa… kenapa?

Mariessa: Kakak kan… tadiii…. Kakak tertinggal lah beg Kakak dalam van Uncle! Macam mana ni???

Mama: Hmm.. OK lah.. Nanti Mama bagitau Aunty Liza, suruh simpan beg Kakak

(Aunty Liza is the owner of the van, Uncle is the driver).


So, the whole night last night and this morning I reminded her to take home her bag. Ayah punya la menyakat dia, toksah nak kata lah!

Today at noon when I called:


Mariessa: Mama!! Mama!! Kakak BERJAYAAAAA dapatkan beg Kakak balik! Yessss!!!!


Last night Afiq started her KAFA class. Mariessa goes for Qiraati class at the same place too. Afiq’s KAFA class is 8 – 10 pm while Mariessa’s Qiraati session is 8-8.30pm. When we picked Mariessa up from her Qiraati class, I asked her how it went.


Mariessa: Best, Mama! Ustazah kata Kakak pandaiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Peh tu (lepas tu) ada kanak kanak lain jugak baca Iqra’ macam Kakak! Tapi ada sorang tu kan Mama, dia tak bawak buku Iqra’ dia sendiriiiii… Nasib baikkkk Ustazah ada banyak buku Iqra’, boleh la dia guna Ustazah punya buku Iqra’! Lepas tu kan.. Ustazah ajar semua kanak kanak, lepas tu Ustazah penat, Ustazah garu2 kepala.




Afiq looks like he’s enjoying school so far, Alhamdulillah. Everyday bawak bekal ke sekolah. He’s not a nasi person, so dia tak heran dengan nasi lemak or bihun goreng sold at the canteen. Bekal2 dia so far: tuna sandwich, egg sandwich, hot dog, nuggets. Benda2 simple macam tu. For tomorrow he wanted something new though: Gardenia’s waffle. :)

I gave him RM2 as duit belanja everyday. From Day 1 lagi he told me he would like to buy drinks. I told him iced drinks are not good so he negotiated and told me he would buy the drinks on alternate days instead. Last Thursday was his buying day.

That Thursday night, I checked his wallet and true enough tinggal seringgit aje dalam wallet dia. So I put another ringgit in.

On Friday, (I have totally forgotten about our alternate days deal) I asked what drinks he bought at the canteen. He said, “Kan Abang dah janji Abang satu hari beli… satu hari tak beli? Semalam kan Abang dah beli… jadi hari ni Abang tak beli lah”. Aahhhh….such innocence. :). I am sure glad he’s sticking to his words.


That night

Afiq: Mama, Abang rasa semalam Mama dah tersalah lah!

Mama: Salah? Salah apa?

Afiq: Mama kan kata Mama bagi Abang two ringgit kan. Tapi Abang rasa semalam Mama bagi Abang three ringgit lah!

Mama: Kenapa Abang rasa macam tu pulak?

Afiq: Sebabbbb…  semalam kan, Abang kan beli air tu kan. Air tu kan one ringgit? Jadi two ringgit minus one ringgit, mestilah tinggal one ringgit je. Habis, kenapa dalam wallet Ben 10 Abang tu, hari ni ada two ringgit pulak? Jadi, Abang fikir… mesti Mama semalam bagi Abang three ringgit sebenarnya.

Mama: Ohhh.. bukan.. malam tadi, Mama tambah one ringgit lagi dalam wallet Abang. Tu sebab dia jadi two ringgit balik.

Afiq: Oh… He he he.. Abang ingatkan Mama tersalah bagi semalam. Kenapa Mama tak bagitau Abang Mama tambah duit dalam wallet Ben 10 Abang? Buat terkejut Abanggggg je.



Alhamdulillah, I turned 34 today.


What a milestone for me – seeing my first born going to school today. Time really flies, I know I keep saying that. But it’s just so true.


Started the day early as the 4 of us : Shahril, Afiq, Mariessa and I headed to Af'iq’s school. I decided Adreena is too young to join us, so she stayed home with Bibik. Arrived at the school at about 7.15 and  straight we went to the assembly area. As soon as I sent Afiq to where his (temporary) classmates were lining up, there was an announcement telling parents to clear the area and wait at the canteen (which is just a few metres away) instead. Let me just say that it’s ‘interesting’ to see how stubborn people are. Even after three of the same announcement, there were only probably 20 of us at the canteen. The rest 60 or so were still at the assembly area. It makes me wonder, how can we expect our children to listen to their teachers if we’re showing them otherwise?


Anyway, it was quite a long assembly. My just-turned-34-yr-old-and-pregnant hormones were acting funny. I was tearing at the simplest things, like hearing the national anthem! I can’t even remember how long has it been since I last heard it live. It reminded of the time when I used to be the one standing in front. I also realized that it was my first time hearing the Selangor’s song. They were 2 other songs, one of which was the school song. The other one was the Gemilang song I think. Quite interesting song if I may say so.


NL While waiting for the assembly to end, we had nasi lemak at the school canteen.

The portion was big for a RM1 nasi lemak, but the sambal is oh so pedas!


Dipendekkan cerita yang panjang, the standard one students were later divided into new classes based on the test they took yesterday. It was called Ujian Diagnostik. When I asked Afiq yesterday,


Mama: Macam mana test tadi, Abang?

Afiq: Senanggggg je Mama. Semua jawapan Abang betul!
Mama: Eh? Mana Abang tau jawapan Abang betul?

Afiq: Sebab Abang semak semua jawapan Abang!

:). Gotta love that confidence, eh? ;)


SKSI (1)

Afiq on the orientation day. “Hari ni memang terbaikkkkk lah, Mama” was his exact words. :)


I have to admit that I was nervous to find out his new class. During the taklimat given by the headmaster yesterday, we were told that 1X will be the ‘weakest’ class. I’m not sure if the other 3 classes were ranked too, but as far as I am concerned, I was just hoping that Afiq will not be in 1X. First the teacher announced the list of names for 1W. No Afiq. Next was 1Y. Still No Afiq. (I was getting paler and paler). Then the teacher announced the names for 1X. Alhamdulillah, No Afiq. :) Afiq is put in 1Z (bukan nama sebenar, of course) along with some of his Little Caliphs friends. I could breathe properly then. :). I might be exaggerating it, but I am a mother. That should explain it. Kan? :)


Next was looking for a bus that would send Afiq home. Alhamdulillah, dipermudahkan semuanya. Found Pakcik Fuad, introduced Afiq to him and let Afiq took the bus home while we tailed the bus very, very closely. :D


Fast forward to 8pm, Afiq was supposed to start his KAFA (long story why we enrolled him for night KAFA class) tonight while Mariessa starts her Qiraati at the same time, but when we went to the school, we were told KAFA and Qiraati will only start next week. So Shahril took kids and I to McDonalds instead.


Parking was full, so after dropping us off at McD’s entrance, Shahril parked the car by the roadside.


After 45 minutes or so at McD, we decided to go home. Sampai aje kat Savvy, Shahril saw that tingkap belakang Savvy kena pecah! Mungkin sebab beg sekolah KAFA Afiq was on the back seat, agaknya pencuri ingat beg notebook agaknya. This is the first time for us (hopefully the last), so naturally we are a little shaken by this incident. Alhamdulillah, aside from the bag (a very simple bagpack, nothing fancy), a writing pad and a pencil case (2 pencils, a ruler, a sharpener and an eraser inside), nothing else were missing. Alhamdulillah.


I didn’t realize how badly kids (Afiq and Mariessa) were affected by this until we got home. Afiq was shaking when he asked for a glass of water. Mariessa was really pale and didn’t want to go anywhere by herself. Sedih bila tengok anak2 ketakutan macam ni. It’s a gentle reminder I know, semoga Allah sentiasa melindungi kita semua dari sebarang niat jahat, InsyaAllah.


So that was how the day went. It wasn’t just filled with good things, but it was full of emotions: pride, sadness, happiness and fear which makes it as a whole – bittersweet, thus perfect. Thank you for all your wishes (mostly via FB) and doa. I truly appreciate each and everyone of them. Hopefully with another year added to my life, I have and will continue to strive to be the best that I can, in everything that I am – a muslimah, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, an employee, an employer, a neighbour and a friend.