Exactly a year ago, Shahril and I went for the most meaningful trip of our lives. It was life altering in so many ways, I can never be thankful enough that Allah has bestowed upon us the ‘rizq’ and invited us to be His guests.

It honestly doesn’t feel like it has been a year since then. There hasn’t been a day that I didn’t wish we could go back. Go back we must, as it felt like we belong there. Hopefully soon, we will be called to perform the Haj. Soon too InsyaAllah, we hope to be able to go with our kids in tow. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.

Wahai Tuhan kami! Janganlah Engkau memesongkan hati kami sesudah Engkau beri petunjuk kepada kami, dan kurniakanlah kepada kami limpah rahmat dari sisiMu; sesungguhnya Engkau jualah Tuhan Yang melimpah-limpah pemberianNya.

Please grant us your blessings and rizq Ya Allah.

A lot to tell since I’m back at work. But boy, time sure is tight. Ok lah, I should not put the blame on time. Everybody gets the same 24 hours. But my 24 hours is really shorter than everyone else’s. Hehe.. Nak jugak tu.

I feel like I’m rushing all the time, really. I wake up and I rush to work. I get to work and I rush home. At home I struggle to do everything I want to do – divide my time between Shahril and the kids. Not that they demand for it, especially not Shahril. It’s me. It’s not as easy as it used to be. Actually, everything is not as easy as it used to be, not when you have a newborn. Don’t get me wrong, I am far from complaining. I am just stating the truth. I am in the phase of adjusting. Tengah warming up lah senang cerita, to the new routine.

At work, I am struggling too. 2 months is a long time to be away from work. (Not enough to be away on maternity though, if you get what I mean). The first cycle of the financial year is closing soon, so I have to catch up on lost time and at the same time sprint towards the finishing line. Again, it’s not easy but I am adjusting and catching up, InsyaAllah.

One thing I notice though, my capability of making small talks has decreased so significantly. I just get tongue tied and my mind goes blank. My wits (assuming I had any) is just gone. It doesn’t help that people sometimes ask me questions that make me go…’duh!’ (dalam hati). Their intentions are undoubtedly good lah, but how to answer meh? I don’t want to be sarcastic and offend them but at the same time I really don’t know how to answer them best.

Contohnya, a lady upon knowing that I have just given birth asked: “Eh bila you pregnant?”

In my mind (beside ‘duh!’) I thought, should I just say “9 months ago?”. Or should I laugh and say.. “Eh tak lah.. I x pregnant pun… I bersalin je!”

One other time, upon seeing me washing some of my pumping accessories, someone said “ Your baby mesti comel, macam mak dia”

Should I say A: Of course! (perasan la pulak kan? Hehe)

                    B: Eh tak lah… my baby je comel. I comel ke? (obviously fishing)

                    C: Eh mana ada. I lagi comel! (Confidence at its best).

Tough, kan?

Oh well…

Have lots more to write about, but I have an SOP to write first. Bo…ring…. :P

A lot of people tell me that Muiz takes either after Afiq or Adreena. I personally think that he takes after Afiq a lot. But see whether you can tell them apart. These are photos of all 4 of them at about the same age (2-3 months).

The shahrils (minus THE Shahril himself, hehe)