My contract with the company I'm working for is going to expire in 3 months. Time flies so fast. Sedar2 aje, it's going to be 2 years this October.

I don't know what awaits me next. There'll be a meeting tomorrow, between us the contractual staff, and the bosses. From what I've heard, no one will be terminated. But whether or not I'll be offered to be a permanent staff is the main issue for me. I like working here. The job, the people (my colleagues, not our clients.. hehe). Being in a technical team obviously leaves me with lots of time in my hand. When we are busy, we could be spending the night in the office. But when we are not, which is 80% the case, we are left with not much to do. Well, nothing to do except surfing the net, blog, etc etc etc. Yes, my clients would sometimes call me on a Saturday, or Sunday and I sometimes have to go to the office then. But even one hour in the office on those days entitles me to take a day off, who's complaining?

I'll just hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Wish me luck!!


We're going home to Hubby's hometown this weekend. Wan has not been well lately. She was hospitalized last week for high blood pressure. It's only right that we go and visit her this weekend as we didnt go back last week. I am extremely fond of her. She's one of those elderly ladies that you just love from the start. She's so adorable. She packs all sorts of things everytime we go back. Mostly from her garden. Cili api, bendi, daun kucai ( I so love daun kucai, i dont know why. She knows it and she will make sure I'll bring some home, everytime), terung you name it. Oh tempoyak too. She has a stock of tempoyak, penuh satu freezer!!

I think age is finally taking its toll on her. I dread the moment. I know Hubby feels the same way too. Wan and arwah Atok raised Hubby when Hubby's dad passed away when Hubby was only a kid. Mak was left with Hubby.. then 5, his brother 4 and his youngest sis, only 2 then. So Wan and Arwah Atok took Hubby to ease Mak's burden. I didnt have the chance to meet Arwah Atok but I am sure he was a fine man. On my first trip to Hubby's hometown, Wan spoke of Arwah Atok with so much love. She misses him so.

I'm excited to balik kampung. Wan says it's musim durian. Erk. I dont eat durian. I do eat tempoyak though.


It's so boring now, at work. I'm left alone. My boss went outstation. The technician is on MC for 2 days. So I'm alone. Dead bored.

I just can't get more creatiove than this. Gotta stop. I'm killing myself just thinking of what to write.

I was happily sleeping (who's not happy sleeping anyway?) yesterday afternoon when my phone rang. I looked at the screen, it was an unfamiliar number.

"uhhhh... Hello" <- had to clear my throat first before I could finally said Hello. I was in deep slumber, really.
"Naik atas, naik atas" (go up, go up) , said the lady on the line and she hung up.

I was left wide awake, and dazzled. Go up, where? There's no "up" in my house. Plus, even if there is, why would a stranger asked me to go up? I tried my best to remember what day it was. I thought it was Sunday.. was it really Sunday? 5 minutes later, I was assured that it was REALLY Sunday, and we (Hubby, Lil Afiq and me) were taking an afternoon nap. If it were any other days, the "go up" summon would have made a little more sense. Maybe it was one of the officers calling me to go up to look after their system. But even if that was the case, they would have introduced themselves first.

I decided to go back to sleep after telling myself that it was probably someone who has got her numbers mixed up. (But I really don't understand just how anyone could dial a wrong number from a mobile phone, like don't you have your friend's number in the memory, and don't you know when you dial the RIGHT number, the person's name would appear instead of the number? Hmmm ). Not even 5 minutes later, my mobile phone rang again. This time from a fixed line. 03-XX.

"Hello?" <- Now i know she is actually CAPABLE of saying hello!
"Yes, hello", said I.
"Ni sapa?" Don't you just hate it when people call you, on your mobile phone some more, and asked who YOU are?
"You're the one who call me, who are YOU?" i can't stand stupid questions so i was obviously irritated.
"Cikgu Din ada? Cikgu Din!" <- Now i am confirmed, that this lady is a rude one. Can't you just speak a little nicely? I am far from being a Din, and definitely am not a teacher. Nor is Hubby.
"Sorry, I think you dialed a wrong number lah", said I, sweetly if i may add. ;-)
"Ni 019xxxxx ke", she asked, it was MY number alright.
"Huh, takpelah!!" and she hung up again. I think she has to learn to communicate better.

I waited for 5 minutes, to see whether she would call again. She did!! And this time, when she heard me saying hello, she hung up on me for the 3rd time! Again i wonder, didn't she KNOW that I knowwwww she was the one who called before? I mean, didn't she know that the caller number's appears on the screen? Some dumb lady. And yes, at that point of time I was already annoyed.
30 minutes later, another unfamiliar number called. Some people never give up, do they? I picked up the phone and said nothing.
- a few seconds of silence-
"..... Helllo?" she finally said it.
"Yes.. hello", said I.. not so sweetly anymore.
"Bidin ada?" Ya Allah, tak faham faham ke dia ni?
"Kan tadi u dah call? You've got the wrong number", i tried to not be so rude now.
"Macam mana boleh salah nombor?" she asked. Bodoh betul, how am i supposed to know? Doink!
"I dont know. But this is MY number and saya tak kenal mana mana Bidin pun!"
"Oklah oklah" . Huh? Dia yang marah kita balik?

And for the 4th and the last time, she hung up on me. She definitely doesn't know how to say the simple "Bye" or better still "I'm sorry".

I hope she'll find her Bidin real soon and stop calling me. And if YOUR name is Bidin, do me a favor please. Please call any of your friends who has the potential to be rude like that and give her your real number, will you? Thank you.
I'm not good at saying goodbye. More often than not i usually cry my heart out. Some people say, maybe it's easier to say "see you soon" or "til next time". Maybe it is. But in my case, i dont think there will be a next time. I just hate saying goodbye. Even if it's to a car.

Yes. We're selling our car. My husband's car, to be exact. But i drive it to work every day. My husband drives my car. We figured it's more economical that way. I live 3km away from my office (though on good days, it takes 15 minutes to get to work and on bad days... pheeww.. once, it took me 40 minutes! - i hate the traffic!), while my husband works some 40-50 km away from home. So he drives my Wira and I, his Honda.

Our Honda carries a lot of memory for us, me and Hubby. Yes, it's an old car. Come next year, the car will be a decade old, though Hubby just bought it in 2003. And yes, there were many times we (mostly Hubby actually) had headaches when Honda had problems. But the memories? Plus the satisfaction of pressing the pedal of that 2.0 engine. Mind my technical knowledge about cars. All i know is that it's a 1996 made 2.0 Honda Accord. Dont ask me about horsepower, V-Tec engine or the likes. I wouldnt know. I just know it's a good car to drive.

Hubby bought the car from his boss when his boss decided that the car will be too small for him, his wife and his 4 kids. We work in the same company then, me and Hubby. He had just been transferred back to HQ after spending a year in Miri (or was it Bintulu, i get confused of those 2, always). At first I thought he was a new staff, later on I find out that he has been working for the company for 3-4 years, so I actually came later than him. And i was leaving the company already.

We had a short... shall i say, courtship. Funny thing is, though our department was just beside each other, we never really had a proper conversation, until he said hi through the network. Yes, that's what technology can do to you. ;-). He seemed so different from the person i know, officially that is. So we began "talking" in July 2003. First through the network, then the telephone.

I was then frustrated with my work. I was not born to be a programmer. Nor can i be now. As luck have it, i was offered another job in a bigger company where i am currently working with. I guess it was my going away that sped things a "little". We had our first date on October 4th 2003. First by having breakfast at that restaurant behind the workshop while waiting for my Wira to be serviced,(i know, it's soooooo unromantic, isnt it? But i thought, it's kinda cute seeing him sleepy eyed and all accompanying me for breakfast) and later on in Subang Parade. It was clumsy, as all first dates usually are. But i nearly fell off my chair when he made his intention clear. I thought wow! This guy has guts!

Exactly a week after that, on October 11th, was my last day at the company. We had a sports day then. And it was kinda our first "public appearance" together. If you can count him sitting beside me in the stadium as a public appearance together, that is. It was also the day he is supposed to get his car, the Honda. As if I was not self-conscious enough with the fact that he is sitting beside me in front of all our colleagues, he casually asked me if I would like to go home (as in balik kampung) with him and his new Honda. Again, i nearly fell off my chair. Strangely enough, i didnt really want to say No either. It seemed crazy then. It still seems crazy now, but i really didnt want to say No. I called my mom, I called my dad and stranger still, they both didnt object to my going home to his hometown.

Finally, I thought, what the heck.. Just go lah! If his family doesnt like me, i wouldnt be so broken hearted since it's not like I've fallen for him or anything like that. So with that thought in mind, i said yes. Though i regretted it on our way to Jelebu. I was so nervous i could jump out of the window!

But boy, it turned out soooooo well. The whole family is so warm. I feel accepted right away. And it was then that i first saw the soft side of him, the side i never saw in the office. The "home" side of him. And it was then, i fell in love with him.

The rest, is history. He met my family the next weekend after that. We got engaged on December 27th the very same year. Not even 3 months since our first date. And we got married on May 1st 2004. Yes, not even one year of knowing each other. Some 3 months after that, we celebrated Merdeka day with the big news, I was 5-weeks pregnant!

I got carried away.. didnt i?

My point is, Honda's first trip back to Jelebu was also MY first trip there. We definitely share the memory. And there was a lot more balik kampung trips after that, of course.

I wish we didnt have to let it go. But we do. Honda's getting old. And we have a lot more things to be concerned about, rather than worrying about paying for his next repair. We figured a new car will definitely need less attention, and worrying about. Like i said to Hubby, if God permits maybe one day we could afford another Honda Accord. Just like this one. A newer version of course. Dont you just love those new 2.4 Honca Accord? Hihi.. One day... Maybe 5.. Maybe 10 years from now. It will not hold the same memory, but it will share other good times with us. Definitely.

Oh well, we have to do what we have to do. Until Honda is taken away from us, I will enjoy every second driving that 3km to work. I know i will miss driving it.

I'm going to cry now.. It's just so sad!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with my old blog. Well, if you can call it a blog - I probably have written some 10 or maybe 15 entries. That's quite an achivement, really. I dont know what makes me stop writing and i am more puzzled as to what makes me want to start writing again. I envy those people who seems to be able to write so effortlessly. People who makes everyday routine seems soooo much fun. People who have no problem whatsoever in expressing their inner thoughts and feelings. Me? I have SOOOO many things to say. and talk about, but i absolutely have no flair for writing. O well..

Annnnnnyway... it's my 8th day of work, after a long long long break. 60 day-leave. Yup.. maternity leave. I gave birth to a beauuuuuuuuuutiful baby boy. On the first week of the maternity leave, i remember thinking.."60 days off.. that's like eternity!" But time flies so fast when you're having fun. The next thing i know.. i'm back in the office, albeit reluctantly. AND was greeted with a to-do-list from my boss who was on leave. What a list. Until No 12 i tell ya!!

Life has definitely changed since Afiq joined our little family 67 days ago. I honestly didnt think i was capable of doing "it" all.. you know.. those things mothers do. Diaper change, feeding, figuring out the reason babies cry. Those things. I thought i was not meant to be. I still have my doubts which probably will be an entirely different entry later, but i found out much to my relief that to a certain extend, I AM capable. Yeyyy!!!

I will write more soon. I hope. ;-). I need to keep my thoughts, written somewhere. There are just too many in my head as it is. There are certain things, emotions, that I sooo wish I could keep on feeling. Like this over flowing love i felt this morning for Afiq, when he smiled sooo innocently as i reach for him... or how very grateful I am for having a husband who had stayed up literally all night looking after Afiq who didnt want to sleep, just because i was having a tummy-ache although he had just came back from a day-trip to Labuan. A simple act like that reminded me of how truly lucky I am, to be loved by this man. And how much in love I am with him. Blessed, I am.