Today,

- is my last Friday at the office. I have to work until Thursday next week. After that I’ll be putting on a totally different hat. One I’ve been dreaming of, waiting for, praying for, but at the same time one that makes me excitedly nervous.

- 2 of Shahril’s uncles are going for Hajj. Bila dengar Talbiyah, hati rasa bergetar, air mata terus mengalir. Semoga Allah menjemput kita menjadi tetamuNya dalam masa yang terdekat ni, InsyaAllah. Perkenankan lah doa doa kami, Ya Allah. Hanya Engkau lah yang mengetahui isi hati kami.

- Bibik’s going home for good. Kids have been told about this since last week as to prepare them. They are also told that they’ll be going to nursery starting next week. What they don’t know yet is, they will only go to the nursery for a week. We’re keeping it a secret still, until I don’t know, maybe tonight?

- Going for lunch with the girls at the office. I’m touched and honoured. Rasa perasan glamour sikit pun ada that some friends have asked to ‘book’ me for lunch next week. Thank you girls and guys! :)

I’m having mixed feelings. Ada rasa sedih, ada rasa happy, ada risau. Sending the kids to nursery makes me worry. Afiq & Mariessa can InsyaAllah cope. I’m not too sure about Adreena though. Muiz lagi lah. Itu lah yang paling merisaukan. Deep down I know (I hope), they’ll be fine. But i’m a mother. Worrying about my kids is what I do.

5 months old now. How time flies.

My thoughts are jumbled up at the moment. Apart from finishing whatever work I still have, I can’t stop thinking about the million things I want to do at home. Have to start planning. Have to start making schedules and lists for me and for the kids;

1. Daily activities with Adreena & Muiz while Afiq & Mariessa are at school.

2. Activities with Afiq & Mariessa when they’re home.

3. What to cook for breakfast, lunch and dinner. At least for the next 2 weeks or so. So we can shop accordingly. (I have to get that 1 hari 1 resepi cookbook).

4. Those new recipes I’d like to try but never had the time to.

5. My own schedule. – What time to wake up, how often do I iron (excited to try our new vertical clothes steamer – I take it as a ‘resignation’ gift from Shahril), how often do I mop (this, i dread. I don’t like doing it. Can anyone suggest a really, really good mop? Saw one at Cosway, quite fancy, not too sure how good though). Also to “include'” Shahril in the chores. Sidai baju has always been his favourite task, so let’s leave that to him among other things, of course. :)

6. Where to go on weekends. Hehe. I’ll be home 5 days a week now kan, so I have to go out to widen my horizons on weekends lah, ye tak?

And the list goes on and on. Do wish me luck, guys.

I hope I can be istiqamah and be the kind of wife and mother I’ve always wanted to be. InsyaAllah.