God, Please grant me patience and understanding.
GOD, grant me the Serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change,
Courage to change the
things I can,
and the Wisdom
to know the difference.

...in need of Serenity

Pictures taken this morning. Mariessa tak bangun lagi masa ni.



Sejukkkkkkkkkkkkkk hati.



Haaaaa… nin dia gaya Adreena menyembur. :D Dengan penuh perasaan sekali!

the lucky Mama

If I were Donald Trump today, I swear I would have said ‘You’re fired!"’ at least 10 times to a certain someone this morning alone! That’s how pissed off I am.

Every night before tidur, Afiq & Mariessa will recite this do’a:


(sekali dgn makna2 sekali) – except their version will be allahumma bismika ahya wa amuutu (lain susunan je). and makna tu will be: dgn nama allah aku hidup dan aku di matikan.

Last night, Mariessa loudly recited:

Allaaaaah umma bis mika ahyaaa wa amuuuu tu!

Dengan nama Allah, kita nak tido, jangan kacau kita!!!

Rugi rasa tak dapat nak record her. It was hilarious!


I terjaga at 2 am, terdengar something. First I thought Adreena was crying, but the crying wasn’t as loud or as urgent as always. Rupanya, she had discovered her latest skill: menyembur!!! Ntah dah berapa lama dia menyembur agaknya, sampai dah basah lenjun pipi dek semburan diri sendiri!! Today dah genap 4 bulan si kenit ni. I can’t say this enough: Where did the time go???


Feeling a little crushed by the latest development in the office. Maybe I can accept the news better once I’ve digested it. But for now, I can’t help feeling crushed. Terkilan. Ada hikmahnya, InsyaAllah.


Diving back to that pool of work

coming up for air…

What a week! Thing is, I don’t think it’s getting any ‘lighter’ next week. Or week after that.

First audit for this year was done yesterday – and I demam the very night before the audit! I hope this is not a sign. :)

(all these saying about ‘sign’ is becoming a thing in The Company. Anything wrong aje – is this a sign? Last week one guy was heard saying to his friend: “Eh, tag aku patah la hari. Ni sign ni!” :)

Aaanyway. I’m still sok-sek-ing badly today. 3 audits scheduled for next week. It’s going to be FUN……………………… NOT!

For now, let me just dwell in the fact that today is Fridayyyyy!! Yeah bebeh!



While holding 2 toys, one in each hand:

Mariessa: Abang, abang nak toy yang mana?

Abang: Abang nak yang ni lah (pointing to one).

Mariessa: Tak bolehhhhhhh. Yang ni kita nak. Abang nak yang mana?

Afiq: Kita nak yang tu! (pointing to the same as earlier) – note how ‘Abang’ has changed to kita indicating ada sedikiiiit rasa gerammm.

Mariessa: (dengan nada exactly the same) – Tak bolehhhhhh. Kita nak yang ni. Abang nak yang mana? (dengan penuh innocentnya, as if it was the first time she’s asking).

if Afiq insists on that one jugak, Mariessa’s answer will remain the same. Lama2 mesti Afiq mengalah and point to the other one. So he’ll get that one. Baik tak payah tanya, dak?)


While talking on the phone to Aunty Pet

Mama (whispering): Kakak, tanya la Aunty Pet dah makan ke belum?

Mariessa: Aunty Pet…. Aunty Pet dah makan ke belum?

Aunty Pet: Belummmmmm… Lapar ni!

Mama (whispering): Ajak la Aunty Pet datang rumah kita, makan kat sini.

Mariessa: Aunty Pet, nasik kat rumah kakak dah abis dahhhhh!!!!

(Tak de la courtesy nya dak? Heheheh).


This morning, arguing (as always) about some thing, tak perasan apa.

Afiq: Kakak budak kecik lagi, kakak mana faham!

Mariessa: Kita dah budak besaaaaaar dah!

Afiq: Kita dah five, haaaaaaaaa!!! Kakak tu three.. kakak kena four dulu, lepas tu baru five, baru besar macam kita!

Mariessa: Alaaaa… kita three pun dah besar! Kita tak pakai diapers dah. Cikgu kata, kita pandai!

Afiq: Ishhh.. susah lah cakap ngan kakak ni!



There are times when the passing of someone we hardly know can make us so, so sad.

Came to the office and read about the sudden demise of Kak Ruby Ahmad, a fellow TKCian. I am still in shock, and overwhelmed with sadness.

May Allah bless her beautiful soul.



I think about death, and dying everyday. More so after after October 7th 2009. A piece of me died that day. I am still picking up shattered pieces left after that day.

I hope remembering death makes me a better person. I try not to let my anger lingers for too long. When I go to bed at night, I hope that I’ve said I love you’s enough, hugged my dear ones long enough and more importantly that all my mistakes have been forgiven. I go to bed fearing I would never wake up. I hope I get to live long enough, whenever God decides enough, is enough.

More on Kak Ruby:




On our way to KL this morning, we drove past a house that has 3 motorbikes parked in front. As expected, Afiq who is always fascinated by any kinds of vehicles said:

Afiq: Mama, byk betul kan motor kat rumah orang tu!

Mama: Yes, ada three kan?

Afiq: Bukan three lah Mama, ada four!

Mama: Are you sure? Mama rasa Mama nampak 3 je tadi.

Afiq: Satu lagi orang tu bawak pegi kedai! Hihihihi..

Ni sah sah lawak gaya Ayah dia!


Well, I am still feeling very homesick and extra extra kids-sick. Thank God it’s Friday!


I don’t know why I’m feeling a little homesick today and extra ‘kids-sick’.


No, nothing fairytale about my day today per say. I’m just really loving the song right now. Taylor Swift can really do wonders with her simple, intriguing songs.

Heard the song in Valentine’s Day the movie. The movie was superb, so was the company. We should do it again soon, kak! (Ngah, if you were there physically, it would have been perfect! You were with us in spirit, of course).

singing ...

But can you feel this magic in the air,fairytale

It must have been the way you kissed me,

Fell in love when I saw you standing there,

It must have been the way …

Today was a fairytale

Exactly a year ago today, my career took a turn that landed me albeit a little hesitantly here, at The Company Headquarters.

Like all journey there is, there has been ups and downs. I still have a lot to learn. There is always something new. But one thing for sure, the honeymoon year is O.V.E.R.

Just looking at our audit plan gives me shudder!