Tak tahu lah kenapa saya betul2 rasa nak menulis malam ini, walaupun sebenarnya mata saya hampir2 tak boleh dibuka. Mengantuk yang amat sgt. Untuk puaskan hati saya sendiri, saya menulis juga. Manalah tahu, mungkin dengan menulis, saya akan bermimpi sesuatu yang extra  menarik.

Gambar ini saya ambil semasa saya menunggu Shahril untuk ‘mengeteh’ sama2 sebelum balik ke rumah. Ini agenda biasa di hari2 yang saya takde mood nak memasak. Takde apa pun yang istimewa tentang bangunan ni sebenarnya. Saja je. Bangunan ni terletak kira2 300 meter agaknya dari rumah saya.

Nampak sangat saya kebosanan, sampaikan gambar teh dan teh ais pun saya ambil. Alkisahnya, sejak saya mengandungkan Mariessa, saya jadi ‘geli’ dengan buih2 teh tarik. Jadi, tiap2 kali saya nak minum teh, saya order ‘teh panas satu!’. Kadang2 skrip saya ada tambahan: “Teh panas satu, tak nak tarik tau?” Sebabnya, ada sesetengah kedai agak degil. Mintak teh panas, dapat teh tarik. Dulu2 saya selalu order Teh Suam, tapi selepas pengalaman pahit saya di suatu kedai, saya tak minta teh suam lagi dah. Kisahnya, saya order Teh suam, tapi dibaginya Teh Tarik. Saya pun reject lah. Saya kata, “saya nak teh suam, bukannya teh tarik”. Orang kedai tu dengan muka kereknya telah sound saya balik. “Kalau tak tarik mcm mana nak suam?”. Mungkin dia tak terfikir, kalau dia letak seketul ais dalam teh panas, bolehhhhh jugak jadi suam. Sampai sekarang saya tak sanggup lagi order teh suam, order aje lah teh panas.. saya tiup aje sampai suam.

Muffin ini saya buat pagi tadi, sesubuh sapie. 5.45 am to be exact. 5.45 tu bancuh bancuh bancuh, pukul 6 dah masuk dalam oven. Selesai saya mandi dan solat subuh, muffin pun dah siap masak. Ini lah resepi yang paling senanggggg pernah saya jumpa. Kalau tak percaya, tanya Momster. Senang dan sgt yummy. Semerbak harum rumah saya pagi2 dengan bau banana muffin ni. Pukul 6.30 pagi, Afiq bangun tidur, sniff sniff sniff and said.. “Afiq tauuuuuu, Mama buat muffin kan? Yeyyy! Tq Mama!”. Oh saat itu adalah priceless! :D

Pada hari jadi Afiq, saya belikan kek yang sgt kecil 3 biji. 1 Afiq, 1 Mariessa and 1 Uncle Reez (adik saya) yang juga April baby. Untuk adil, semuanya ada spiderman. Tapi kalau dah kaki berebut tu, dek kan spender spiderman colour lain punnnnnn boleh jadi bahan rebutan.

Gambar ni Afiq yang ambil sendiri. Agak artistik di mata saya. :) Ini saat2 dia keboringan nak tunggu keluar dari hospital selepas Myringotomy.

Ini budak tak suka bergambar, jadi mmg susah nak cari gambar dia yang ok-ok. Skrg suka pura2 jadi doctor. Periksa semua anak patung yang ada. Paling dia suka bila saya panggil dia Doctor Mariessa. Kalau saya tersilap, dia sound saya, “ni bukan kakak lah, ni Doctor!” Semoga betul2 jadi doctor anak dara saya ni.

Sekejap aje, dah 5 bulan umur Adreena.

Ni kerja Ayah dengan Kakaknya. Cik main suka lagi Adreena pakai tudung kakak.

Haaa.. dah puas hati saya dapat merepek panjang2. Kalau mimpi tak best jugak malam ni, tak tau lah.

In our short 5 years of being parents, I don’t think Shahril and I have had a more ‘interesting’ and eventful week than this week.

First it was Afiq’s operation. The nervous anticipation before the op and the overwhelming relief after left me feeling spent. Drained out. I don’t know how I made it thru Thursday and Friday at work, but I was so glad that the weekend is finally here.

But, it so happens that I apparently have one more ‘event’ in store for me.

I was talking to Mariessa when I thought I saw something shiny from within her nostril. Didn’t think much of it at first, but took the flashlight to have a better look. Press her nose a little and felt something hard.

I, of course, panicked!

Asked Shahril to take a look as well. By this time Mariessa was getting panicky too, and started to run away from us. I was quite sure then that there was a bead in her nostril. Both of us had to chase after her and hold her down in trying to get a better look, but didn’t see much.

Shahril then took her to the nearest clinic. The doctor told him to get Mariessa to KPMC. So Shahril took her there.

It took the doctor at KPMC 5 long minutes of poking using I-don’t-know-what-you-doctors-call-it-but-it’s-something-like-an-earpick to get the bead out. And yang herannya, the bead was actually bigger than her lubang hidung tau!!! Ish lahhhhhhhh…

When asked later where did she get that bead from, she said “kat kolah ” (kat sekolah). I asked this, because I know for sure we don’t have any toys with beads around the house. Then I asked whether she had put it in herself, or somebody else did. She said..”kakak buat tediri (sendiri).”

It’s scary to think that entah berapa lama la sebenarnya that bead has been in her nose. It was 9.30pm when I saw it. She came back from ‘kolah’ at 7. God knows what time she had put it in.

Too bad Shahril didn’t bring that bead home. If he had, I would put it nicely on display as a reminder for the kids (and us too). Tak tau la if she did it out of her curiosity ke apa ke.

I hope my weekend will be as dull as it can possibly be. I don’t think I can take any more ‘excitement’.

Afiq this morning, playing with ‘YoYoi” (he keeps calling it that rather than just YoYo). He’s in high spirit this morning Alhamdulillah. Makes it all worthwhile.

Thank you Uncle Salleh for the YoYoi… ;)

Thank you (again) Aunty Nid for his baju. He now calls it his Baju Hensem! ;)

It’s almost midnight, and I’m beat. It has been a long, long day. A little longer than I expected, but as long as it ends well, I am very grateful.

Dipendekkan cerita:

After meeting with Dr. M at 5.30, Afiq was at admitted and Myringotomy & Grommet was scheduled at 8pm

Afiq goofing around.

Just before the op. At this point, I needed more consolation than him. He was very quiet, I know he was nervous. I put on a brave face for him. He was brave.

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The longest hour of my life!

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Waiting for him to wake up.

I had to leave then, the girls were still at the nursery and it was already almost 10pm then.

A few minutes ago, Shahril made a video call & Afiq is awake! Alhamdulillah. He looks a little ‘mamai’ still, didn’t say anything to me, but he waved and blew me a kiss. That’s all I need.

Thank you everyone, for your prayers and well wishes. We truly appreciate it. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you, SO much!

So we went to see Dr. N the ENT specialist yesterday. In short, he agrees with Dr. M’s suggestion and strongly urged us to proceed with Myringotomy. The thing that really did it for me was when Dr. N said:

“Saya cadangkan, buat je la. Kesian kat anak u nanti, takut terganggu pembelajaran dia"

I’ve never thought of it that way, honestly. The way I looked at it was, kesian kat Afiq having to go through the procedure. Dr. N was right. I’m glad he pointed it out to me.

So, insyAllah next Tuesday it is. Please pray that everything will go smoothly. I am nervous as hell, am already losing sleep over this.

p/s: Rina, can he go swimming after that? He has swimming lesson every Thursday, and he LOVES swimming. Dr. N said not to. Dr. M said to use ear plugs. What say you, Dr. R? Hehe.

Saya sebenarnya susah hati. Sampaikan saya nak berpura2 buat kerja pun dah tak boleh. Kalau ikutkan hati saya ni, nak je saya termenunggggggggg je pandang laptop saya yang selalu ‘hang’ ni.

Saya susah hati mengenangkan Afiq.

Alkisahnya, masa mula2 saya bawak dia pergi jumpa Pakar Kanak2 hari tu, saya cuma risaukan demam dia yang kejap ada, kejap takde, tapi tak baik2 sampai dah seminggu. Dah makan ubat pun, macam tu lah jugak. Lagi satu saya agak risau sebab minggu sebelum tu, saya perasan dia selalu tak dengar bila saya cakap. Bila saya tanya kenapa dia tak jawab soalan2 saya, dia kata..”Mama cakap slow sgt lah!”. Semua orang pun tau, selembut2 budi pekerti saya, suara saya idok ler perlahan. Makanya, risau lah saya.

Saya bawa dia jumpa Dr. A, pakar kanak2 yang paling best pernah saya jumpa. Bestnya dia sebab 1. dia dengar segala luahan hati saya, semua concerns saya, walaupun kadang2 ada yang rasa mungkin tak saya ter-over concern? Tapi, dia tak pernah ambil mudah. 2. Consultation charge dia sgt lah murah untuk seorang pakar. RM30. Unheard of, kan?

Jadi, bila saya bawa Afiq jumpa Dr. A, dia check lah segala apa yang saya complain-kan. Tapi masa tu Afiq tak demam. Tiba2, Dr. A kata “ Mama, anak you wheezing lah Mama!”. Saya terkejut lah. Dah lamaaaaaaaaa Afiq tak wheezing. Tapi that explains why he looks tired je selalu. So, kena nebulizer one round dan buat blood test sekali.

Lepas nebulizer tu, Dr. A check Afiq lagi sekali. Takde perubahan. :(. Blood test result pulak shows that tahap hemoglobin dalam darah Afiq agak rendah. (Ada lagi 2-3 benda Dr. A cakap, tapi saya tak ingat semuanya sebab yang lain tu tak membimbangkan). Dr. A sarankan saya beli Vitamin yang mengandungi zat besi untuk Afiq. Dan juga ubat cacing.

Dia referkan pula saya ke ENT specialist untuk check telinga Afiq, walaupun saya kata saya tak sure kalau Afiq tu betul2 tak dengar, ataupun kadang2 buat2 tak dengar. (Manalah tahu, “skill” selective hearing ayahnya dah turun ke anaknya – ayahnya kadang2 buat2 tak dengar kalau saya panggil, especially kalau dia dah tau saya panggil tu nak mintak tolong. Hehehe. I know tau! :P. Anyway, Dr. A siap tolong buatkan referral letter untuk saya, jadi saya tak payah la bayar. Bertambah2 la sayang saya kepada Dr. A.

Petang tu, jumpalah Afiq dengan pakar ENT. Dr. M namanya. Dr M kata, ada air bertakung di belakang gegendang telinga Afiq. Dia kata, kalau nak quick solution, “Kita operate je lah”. Saya dengar perkataan operate saja, saya mula lah rasa nak nangis. Nasib baik Shahril kebetulan sampai di klinik masa tu (dari ofis). Saya cakap kat Dr M, “Kejap doctor, biar saya panggil suami saya masuk dulu, boleh dia dgr sekali”.

Lepas berbincang dengan Dr. M, kami minta nak tengok dulu keadaan Afiq untuk seminggu.

Jadi semalam, dah cukup seminggu, saya bawa lagi Afiq jumpa Dr. M. Kali ni, dia kata, telinga kanan dah ada improvement, tapi telinga kiri macam tu jugak lah. Dia ada sebut gelembung, tapi saya tak ingat pulak mcm mana contextnya.

Sekali lagi dia kata..”Kita operate je lah ye?”. Lagi sekali jugak, saya terus nervous. Saya minta untuk tangguhkan lagi seminggu.

Saya dan Shahril buat keputusan, nak bawa Afiq jumpa pakar ENT yang lain pula, for 2nd opinion.

Hari ni kerja saya di ofis, ialah meng-google segala jenis maklumat. Saya dapat tahu, nama condition Afiq tu ialah Otitis Media, dan nama procedure yang Dr. M nak buat ialah Myringotomy.

Esok saya akan bawa Afiq jumpa dgn pakar ENT yang lain tu. Kita tengok pulak apa dia kata.

In the meantime, saya tak boleh untuk tidak risau. Saya percaya, semua ibu rasa macam yang saya rasa. Bila anak2 sakit, mesti terfikir, mungkin ini salah saya.

Tolong doakan semoga Afiq cepat sembuh ye. Terima kasih banyak2. Saya harap, Dr kedua ini nanti akan cakap apa yang saya nak dengar – that the operation is not necessary.

Afiq masa terima Award di LC. (Saya cilok gambar ni dari blog LC. :) )

I meant to write about how eventful my week has been. But my mind is really incapable of processing words right now. So I’ll let some pictures do the talking.

Brought Afiq to see a pediatrician on Tuesday for his on & off demam (among other things). Nampak pucat kan? Still in his Little Caliphs uniform.

Turns out he was wheezing pulak!

Nebulizer lah jawabnya.

That was at noon yesterday. We were told to come back for nebulizer at 9pm last night and 9am this morning. Saw his pediatrician again this morning and was told that he’s not improving. :(

Since KPMC was full and so was KPJ Kajang (ramainya lah orang sakit!), we were referred to Hospital An-Nur in Bangi.

Made a quick stop at Little Caliphs though. Today was supposed to be April babies’ birthday celebration at LC and Afiq has been looking forward to this day as he is one of the celebrated ones.

Coincidentally his LC is also giving awards for Quarter 1 high achievers.

Afiq on the hospital bed with his newly-won Award. Nampak tak what it says?

Taraaaaa! I swear when his teacher announced that he got this award, I was bursting with pride! Menitik air mata, no kidding! :)

Asking the nurse what is she going to do.

Tekun. Kan?

Even when he’s having his neb.

The fruit basket from The Company. Thank you very much!