It’s day 4 since we let Bibik bercuti. She has a daughter in JB and last weekend we offered Bibik some days off to go visit.


Bibik has done so much for us, especially since I gave birth. I terminated the confinement lady’s service after only 2 days instead of having her for two weeks (long story) and so since then Bibik was the one who took care of me and basically the whole family. It’s a bonus that she’s also able to do all the urut and tungku stuff, Alhamdulillah. Now that school holiday is here, we thought it’s only appropriate that we let her rest for a change. Plus I am already up and about.


As for me, mula2 tu anxious la jugak. To let her go off during school holidays means I’ll be at home with FOUR kids all to myself 24x7. Hehe. On top of that, on Sunday the day before Bibik cuti pulak, we sent Afiq for circumcision. Interesting household I have right now. :)


As I said.. today is day 4 and I have to say I’m loving it. It’s tough and it’s highly depending on Muiz’s mood basically. If he get’s too clingy, everything else has to be put on hold. But so far, I think we’re doing great.


In a way, I am testing myself. I wanted to know if I’m really up to it – being a full time mom. I believe it’s the toughest ‘job’ in the world. No annual leave, no emergency leave not even sick leave. It’s something I want to do though, but I do have my doubts. Now that I’ve experienced it for 4 days so far, I can safely say that there’s no job in this world that can give me the kind of satisfaction I get by doing just this. I pray that the time will come soon for me to do this full time.


Bibik is leaving us for good come October. Her 2 years with us is up and as I have expected, she wants to go home. She has a daughter of Mariessa’s age and I understand her priority. She has given up 2 years with her daughter to work with us, and for that I shall forever he grateful. We have decided not to look for another maid, so since I cannot quit my job just yet it looks like we have to send the kids to daycare once Bibik leaves. I hope the next chapter will be a smooth one for us, InsyaAllah.

I was holding Muiz in my arms when he looked up and I thought, Oh my God, I'm in love!

The feeling was so overwhelming that the next thing I know, I was in tears.

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It’s been a while since I last wrote a proper entry here. A lot to cope up with – recuperating, trying to establish a routine, handling a newborn and three toddlers etc. It’s overwhelming sometimes if not most of the time honestly, but I’m doing good nonetheless.


Baby Muiz is 34 days old today, Alhamdulillah. How time flies. That means I only have 26 days left before going back to work. I am freaking out. I am soooo not ready. So much so that there are days I wish I have the guts to just quit my job and be a stay-at-home-mom. Half of the time I think I even manage to convince myself that I should just do it, that if my ‘niat’ is right, all will go well in the end but the other half of the time, I am not so sure. I know eventually it will happen, but I’m not too sure if now is the time.


Oh well…


Afiq, Mariessa and Adreena are adjusting well, Alhamdulillah. Afiq is definitely happy to have another boy in the house and can’t wait for Muiz to grow up so they can play together. (I guess he’s tired playing with girls.. haha. Asyik kena mengalahhhhhh je) Mariessa is happy being a 2nd mother to Muiz, fussing over him. Adreena… well… other than hiding behind the sofa everytime “Muiz beyak”, she’s doing great! She calls him “Muish-tudin”, sometimes “baby boy”, but last night when Muiz cried, she shouted “Mama… cepat sini.. budak ni nangis!”. Tak tau la daripada mana dia dengar ‘budak’ tu. :P


7 years ago, I struggled to breastfeed Afiq (largely due to my ignorance – I thot it would come naturally, so I didn’t read much about it prior) and I miserably failed. So this is more or less like the first time for me breastfeeding a boy. Oh boy, the difference! Muiz can’t seem to get enough of milk, and it’s not because the supply is low I assure you that! With 26 days to go, I now only have one bottle of EBM stock in the freezer and I honestly don’t know if I can get as much stock prepared as I had done with Mariessa and Adreena. We’ll see how it goes. I am determined not to let this worry me too much – no use worrying over this anyway, it will only affect the supply if not anything else. :)


( As I was writing this, Adreena came to me and said..”Mama.. kenapa ni monyok monyok ni?” Hahahah.. Ada2 je budak ni!).


Muiz will wake up soon for his feed, I think. So I should just publish this before it becomes another draft. :). Have a lot more to write about, if and when the time permits InsyaAllah. Until then..

It's our 8th wedding anniversary today, Alhamdulillah. Since 3 of my children are born in April, this means today is my 3rd time 'celebrating' our anniversary during the confinement period. :).

To my wonderful husband, I don't think words can express how blessed I feel to have you in my life. Thank you for being the coolest, the calmest and the most patient man I've ever known. Thank you for sticking with me through thick and thin and for holding my hands through our happy moments as well as difficult times (think labor room :) ).

Semoga jodoh kita berkekalan hingga ke hujung hayat & semoga kita dipertemukan semula di Jannah, InsyaAllah.

With all my heart, I love you.
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