I don’t want to be here today. I really don’t.

In a few hours since my last post, things are going downhill so fast. Worse news keep coming as if the last one we heard just minutes ago isn’t bad enough. At this rate, I don’t know what the total number would be at the end of the day. It looks very scary as no one is spared it seems. I don’t think anyone feels 100% safe at this moment. And I don’t think anyone is doing any real work today either.

But then again, there is no such thing as preparing for the storm is there?

The news that is buzzing in the office is very unsettling, to say the least. In every corner, people are whispering to each other as if the others have no clue on what they are whispering about. I am pretty sure even those who are not whispering among themselves are actually thinking about the same thing. And those who are typing away on the laptops pretending that they are not affected by the news and that the world revolves just as it did a few days ago, I bet they are thinking about the same thing too.

As for myself, I am obviously thinking about what the others are thinking about too. I am still debating whether I should feel motivated by the news (I should be, if I can be optimistic enough) or I should succumb to the devastation and let myself be demotivated (it’s hard not to be).

It does not seem wise, if it’s not downright irritating to console those who are directly affected, with the word Fate. But then again, what else can be said about such tragic? That God has other plans for them? I wish I know what to say without sounding lame or insensitive. I wish I know what they want to hear, what they need to hear, because sitting there in silence, listening to their sobs, just doesn’t feel enough.

I am sending my prayers towards their paths, hoping that (as lame as this may sound), their next destination is a greener field.

1.  When you see me posting more than one entry in a day, that means I’m swamped with work. Strange, but it’s true. I am one of those people who can actually work better under pressure. (Or so I think).

2. I don’t know if this is even anatomically possible, but I’m having selsema only on one side of my nose. No kidding. Sebelah je selsema. Sebelah lagi sihat walafiat. Anybody has experienced this before? Is this possible? This has been going on for 3 days now. Strange isn’t it? But it’s so so true.

Gambar tiada kaitan dengan entry tapi saja nak letak:

Before

After

On my 3rd day back at work, 3 photos of the little bugs bunny.:D

Thank you ‘Aunty Aba’ for the cute outfit!!! :D

With Love, Love, Love…

For some reasons beyond me, I’ve always had problem in doing anything the 2nd time. For example, if I try a new recipe, and it turns out a success the first time around, I can be almost sure that the 2nd time will be a disaster, no matter what I do. First time I baked a bread it turned out so soft and fluffy. 2nd attempt – sooo keras, kalau baling kat dinding, boleh retak dinding tu!

From major experience like…My first pregnancy went almost without a glitch. The 2nd time I was pregnant, I miscarried without even knowing I was actually pregnant.

To minor incidents like… The first email I sent out when I was transferred to the HQ went out OK (I am very particular about emails relating to work), my 2nd email - I forgot to put in the ‘Subject’, causing me to receive an email from my boss (who is, as you can see, just as particular, if not a 100 times more), reminding me that little things like forgetting the ‘Subject’ is not acceptable and that I should be very careful about such things. I tell you, I so wanted to smack my head on my desk that very moment.

What I really want to say is, today is my 2nd day back at work. After a ‘successful’ day last Friday, today I am feeling oh sooo sooo lost! I just cannot wait to go home and see all my little (and not so little) angels.

60 days could not have gone any faster than it did. Adding 2 weeks of MC prior to my maternity leave, I have been away from the office for 76 solid days! And today, I’m back at work.  Didn’t feel like a week, what more 76 days! Why lah all good things must come to an end so quickly?

It has been a good day so far at work, mainly because *Warning – vain mode ahead: * Quite a number of people commented that I’ve lost a lot of weight and that I’m glowing. *blink blink blink* Even the tea lady said “nampak lagi muda lah sekarang”. Eche che wah. Kasik chan la haaaa.. bukan selalu apa orang nak puji I kan. :D. (Shahril will never hear the end of this of course. Hehe..)

Did nothing much today, as expected. That’s the beauty of starting work on Friday after so long. Nobody is expecting anything (yet) from me, giving me a whole day to warm up and hopefully by Monday I’ll be ‘warm’ enough to work on top speed. Hopefully.

I’ve started sending Adreena to the nursery since Monday so that I can get some ‘me’ time before I start work. Sending her on the first day wasn’t easy though. Belum keluar rumah lagi, air mata dah meleleh dah. And every baby I saw that day (went to the bank, mall etc) reminded me of her. But we both survived the day, tough girls that we are.

Having 4 days free all to myself, I did something I’ve never done before. Watched 3 movies in 3 days in a row! Hehe. Watched ‘Did you hear about the Morgans’ (alone) on Monday, Sherlock Holmes (also alone) on Tuesday and Avatar in 3D (with Shahril) on Wednesday. I must say, I really like all 3 movies. The Morgans were really funny, Holmes was brilliant (I have a soft spot for Jude Law anyway), and Avatar was simply great (it was my first time watching anything 3D). And I’m glad I took the time to spend with myself like that. It felt good.

Tomorrow Adreena will turn 2 months old. I’ve been meaning to write a dedicated entry about the whole ordeal of her arrival 2 months ago, but I guess that will have to wait (yet again). :)

Back at work

This time I’ll let the pictures do the talking :)

How my day started yesterday. Breakfast before going to the Little Caliphs.

How the day ended yesterday. (This was after Johnny’s Steamboat. Hehe)

How the day started today. Note the new sparkling white new shoes. :)

2 pairs of sparkling new shoes??

Tadaaaa…

One school boy and one nursery girl.. with their new shoes

(bangun tidur, tukar baju (“kita tak nak mandi!”) tapi nak pakai kasut baru. Sikat rambut pun taknak, which explains the hair. :D

Another pose, dengan mata sembab

Afiq with his Ultraman pose, while waiting for the van. “Mama, kenapa van Aunty-Kak Liza ni tak sampai2 pun Ma?”

Not to forget,

Adreena day dreaming (this was a while back)

And last but not least,

Adreena saying, yo peeps!

It’s my birthday today.

It’s also Afiq’s first day at kindergarten. Like all mothers I believe, I was more excited and nervous than the boy himself.

Afiq – ready for school bright and early

Senyum paksa, sebab nak suruh Mama cepat sikit, he wanted to go inside to check out the toys. :)

As expected, everything went smoothly. He has always been very independent, so going to a new environment like this does not bother him at all. Mariessa on the other hand is very different from Afiq. That was why, also as expected, after we sent Afiq off at the Little Caliphs, Mariessa punya lah menangis + meraung when we dropped her off at her nursery. I guess with Afiq not being there with her, she feels insecure. Sayu hati Mama.

At 11.30, I went to pick Afiq up. When asked how was school, he said, “Best sgt2, Mama!” :) When told that Mariessa menangis kat nursery, terus dia risau. We stopped by at Giant because I wanted to buy him a pair of proper school shoes. I honestly tak teringat langsung about his shoes. I mean, I thought he didn’t need one since the learning is indoors anyway, tapi pagi tadi bila hantar dia kat sekolah tu, rasa tak cukup handsome pulak without the shoes. Hehe. So I told him that we were going to get him shoes first at Giant, and then I’ll send him to the nursery. Afiq said, “kita shopping cepat2 je k Mama? Nanti adik tunggu abang”. Mariessa’s lucky to have Afiq, don’t you think?

Tomorrow Afiq’s going to school by the ‘van’ pulak. I cannot believe all these are happening already. It certainly didn’t seem like 5 years since I first held him in my arms. 

So that’s how I celebrate my 32nd birthday. At least so far. :) And tomorrow is the 44th day of my confinement period which is officially the last day. So Yey! :D

It’s also my first birthday without Ummi. :(