Dear Sir,

I went to ***bank ****** ****** today, September 9, 2005 at approximately 10a.m. My intention was to open an account bearing my name and my son's. After completing the necessary forms, I proceeded to the desk where a staff was handling matters like opening accounts etc.

When my turn was up, I told your staff of my intention. He asked me to present my IC and my driving license. This was where the ordeal started. I told him that I had my license combined with my Mykad. He then told me that "your system" is not able to get the information from the MyKad. (Don't banks have the MyKad readers?). I must say that he acted like I am very much the only person in Malaysia who had done this! So much so, that he even tried to illustrate to me of the "consequences" of combining my Mykad and my license. "What if you were stopped by a police traffic asking for your license?" was his example. I simply said, the police should have the readers as should banks. If the government has approved this, who is he to question? I am not to be blamed. On a more personal note, I realized this problem with MyKad long time ago, but in my case I had no choice. I lost my (old) IC and my license, and the replacement came as a 2-in-1.

I asked the staff whether there is anything else I could provide to substitute my license. He said I could give him my birth certificate, which, I did not have with me at that time. (How many adults go around carrying their birth certificate anyway?). I asked him again if there is anything ELSE I could provide. He then saw my working pass and asked why I did not give my working pass earlier. Now, how am I suppose to know that I could give him that, when he did not ask for it in the first place?
So I gave him that. He then told me that it was going to take AN HOUR for him to process everything. I am honestly shocked by this. One hour to key in the data into the system and get approval? I don't know about other people, but I think one hour is too long a time for a simple matter like this. I did not proceed my intention, obviously.

My questions.
1. Don't banks have MyKad readers?
2. Do you really need 60 minutes to complete an application like this, or was this incident an isolated case resulting from an ill-trained staff?
I am hopeful that you will look into your staffs' PR skills among other things. Your e-banking and facilities is definitely the best in Malaysia right now. But I cannot say the same about your services.
It was raining yesterday when I was walking out of the office. I usually walk to the bus stop across the road to wait for Hubby so he doesn't have to do a U-turn to pick me up and go home. Luckily I keep an umbrella in my office locker for times like yesterday. Anyway, it was not only raining but also windy that I had to hold on tight to my umbrella to make sure it didn't get carried away by the wind. It was an adventure in its own, really. Lucky my boss had to borrow my notebook home, so I was just berlenggang yesterday.

I was a lil early, so I sat at the bus stop watching people passing by in the rain. Anyway, you know those zebra crossings for pedestrians to cross the road? I've always wondered why most drivers won't stop and let those people cross the road. Knowing Malaysian drivers, of course, it's a small wonder actually. But still..

But yesterday.. I wish I had a BIG stone or whatever in my hand so I can throw it to a car. 2 ladies were waiting at the side of the road, obviously trying to get to the bus stop. They had no umbrella. And one of them was pregnant. It was a 2-lane that they were trying to cross. And at one time, the road was clear except for a new Honda Accord at the hump some 5-6 metres away from the zebra crossing. You want to know what the driver did? Instead of stopping for the poor ladies, he sped!!! The ladies had to RUN to cross the road JUST because of that stupid driver! I got sooo pissed off! There you are driving a luxury car, all safe from the rain and you don't even have the courtesy to stop??? It takes what, 3 seconds?? That, you can't spare? You damn know the traffic is heavy anyway at the traffic light ahead of you, what 3 seconds will do to you? BODOH! Kereta je besar.. OTAK kecik! STUPID! SELFISH! I so so so wish, one day, fate will twist and he will be on the side of the road wanting to cross it. And I HOPE no one, no one, will ever stop and make way. Baru tau langit tu tinggi ke rendah. Baru drive Honda Accord nak berlagak! Ni lah org kita. Sopan santun konon. Podachit!

I don't know what's in our drivers' minds. It's sad really. Once we get behind the wheels.. we turn into selfish snobs. Berlagak tak tentu pasal. Looking down on people waiting at the bust stops, not caring for motorcyclists.
Have you ever stop to make way for people crossing the road? If you have not, try do it today. I don't know about others, but back in those days when I drive to work, I sometimes look forward to stop for these people. I'm not saying I'm all that good. I have my own reasons for stopping. It makes me feel good. Especially when the person looked at me and muttered a 'thanks'. THAT makes my day, all the time. You don't need others to make your day. You don't need others to make you feel good. You can do that to yourself. Try, and tell me if it makes you feel as good as I usually do.

To that Honda Accord driver, do remember that the wheels of life never stops spinning. You might be at the top of it now. You could one day be at the bottom. Just don't be so arrogant.You might need other people's courtesy one day. One fine day.

Pagi2 lagi dah ada orang nak kena pelangkung. I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hate orang yang perasan pandai. Ingat dia bagus sgt! Piiiii dahhh.. Podachit!

I honestly wish i could just pelangkung him. Seriously! Ishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

The details later. I just need to get some of it out of my system first. Ish, sakit hati!!
I finally had the courage to do it. I picked up the phone, called the place, asked whatever questions I need answers to. Then after work, while Hubby and Afiq stayed at home I went out and did it. It was scary as expected. It was not as painful as I thought it would be (my consolation thought was what pain could be worse than giving birth? I know dying is worse, but hey, I have not experienced that obviously).

Had a good half an hour chat with the doctor before we proceeded. I honestly thought of melarikan diri when she explained that there is a possibility that "it" cannot be done the "normal" way since I had a caesarian section. Plus she said, I may experience more pain than others. That surely freaked me out.

But anyway, since I was there I gave it a try anyway. Did it hurt? Yes a little. Reminded me of the "checks" my gynae did just before I gave birth. But it wasn't so bad, now that I'm over it.

So yes. I had IUD inserted. I feel soooooo much better now. Afiq will (most probably) be 3 the next time I have to see a gynae. InsyaAllah. Long shot eh? ;-)
We went back to Temerloh on Friday night. Had a good weekend basically. As usual, I tried not to be bothered too much about the condition of the house. I used to be very mad at my parents whenever I come home. I still don’t get it why; why would they behave the way they do, why would they live the way they do.

A few years back, our house was much smaller. To add to that, most of us were still staying at home then. But I never remembered the house being so messy. Now the house is bigger. We have more space, and only 2 of my brothers are staying with my parents. Ironically, I cant remember the last time I’ve seen the house clean. What went wrong?

The stories too deep. I have long decided I will not “go there” anymore. I will not try to analyze the situation anymore. It will just make me angry. If my mom doesn’t cook anymore whenever I come home, then fine. I cook. If I’m not in the mood, we’ll just buy. I used to be upset.. and sad.. and disappointed when that happens. But I realized, it will not change anything. So I forced myself to stop feeling anything bad. I sometimes feel numb. But I figured that’s so much better than feeling angry.

I’m thinking of getting everyone (my sisters and my brothers) to go home and do a gotong royong, once and for all. I hope the idea will be well accepted by them and them at home. Something needs to be done. I don’t know how my mom can stand seeing her stuff all over the house. Sigh. What happens to her? Okay, so I will not wonder anymore.

I figured my parents are not getting any younger. We don’t know how much time left.. for us, and for them. And that is why I don’t want to feel any anger, or sadness or anything bad towards them. And as much as I can.. I don’t want to hurt their feelings.I don’t want to regret anything when they’re gone.

I hope we would be able to put the house in order once more. If it’s not too much to hope for, I hope my mom will go back to her old self. My dad? I don’t know. He has been him all this while. I cant remember a different him. So I cant say I hope he would go back to his old self. But I can say I hope he will be a better man. Maybe it’s time for him to try being a good husband to his wife. It’s never too late.

Despite all that, I was glad to be home. And we had a good weekend. Hubby got a good sleep. I didn’t get angry at anyone. And most importantly Afiq had a wonderful time with the grandparents and his uncles. Well spent weekend neverteless.


I received an sms from a good friend at 6 am on Monday. She said her father just passed away. I was shocked. Didn’t know that her father was sick or anything. Then Hubby says, “orang sihat pun mati juga, kalau dah sampai ajal” That is so very true. And it convinced me that I did the right thing by not being mad at my parents. We don’t know how much time left. And I don’t want to spend any moment being angry, if that is all possible.


Went to KLIA with my tech guy. We do maintenance there. Most of the time he goes alone but this time around my boss wants me to “show our faces to the clients sometimes”. I always hated his driving. But I never hated it more than on Monday. I once caught him sleeping while driving!! And to my annoyance, his ever so demanding wife called when we were about to reach our office, and in his ignorance, we almost hit the road divider!! You want to flip –close your phone, do lahhh.. but you don’t have to LOOK at the phone while you close it and put it in your pocket!! Stupid dumb dumb. The moment we arrived, I jumped out of the van.. and thank God I was still alive. I have soooooooooooooooooo many things to say about this guy.. but I’m not here to tambah dosa.. hehe..

I'm writing this entry from my new notebook. Yey!! Finally after 2 years. (the contract is finishing and they're giving me this now, weird really). I hope this is a sign that they will either extend my contract for another 2 years, or better still "absorb" me in permanently.

For now, I'm going to enjoy my new notebook. I'm a bit jakun.. but who cares!

Lalalalalaaaaaaaaa la laaaaaaaaaaaaaa laaaa.....
We are going balik kampung to Jolobu tomorrow. It's musim buah, and it's hard to resist from balik kampung. Not that I'ma ll that crazy about fruits anyway. Just for the fun of it.

The last we went back to Jelebu was 2 weeks ago. That was Wira's last long distance journey with us. It was actually the first time we took Wira back instead of Honda, but last 2 weeks we didn't think Honda was fit for the journey.

For the first time in my life, I went to a dusun durian to kutip durian. Have never ever done that. Despite my being demam, I thot it was just something I don't want to miss. So we went, me and Hubby. Of course we can't take Afiq along. Gilo apo? It was fun allright, despite my running nose. It was fun watching Hubby climbing the pokok langsat too. How very de macho! Hehe. Hubby says I looked like taiko kampung.. with the oversized pants.. and the cap.

We took some fruits back. And I had a tough time trying to get rid of the durian smell in Wira. Thanks to those who invented Febreeze. It actually works! I got rid of the smell, justttt before we sent Wira to the shop.

So I told Hubby, we will NOT take any durian back this time. NO.. NO.. Plus I dont eat durian anyway. Langsat yes, rambutan yes, manggis OH YESS!! durian NO. Hubby says ok. Yey.. Sapa tak sayang kereta baru ye tak? Echewah!!

Hubby is obviously excited about going home tomorrow. It's like showing his new toys. Hmm.. there's a boy in every man, yes?

I bought a FujiFilm digital camera online 2 days ago. I actually went crazy and bidded online, and (obviously) WON! So far I still think it's worth it. Very very handy. Next is to buy a rechargable battery set. The camera eats up battery like crrrrazy! Once i get the battery.. I'll be snapping crrrrrraaazyyy!!

Happy weekends, people. Be good!!
I have NEVER been happier to see my 'peot' finally came.
Don't ask!
I told my friend, Deknun about the existence of this blog. She knew my old blog of course, but I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone (yet) about this blog. I don't know why. I want to tell, but I dont really want to tell. Does that make sense? Well, maybe not. I don't always make sense anyway. So, that's not new.

Talked to Deknun about her wedding preparations. She's tying the knot this August, and I am most definitely happy for her. I am actually looking forward to attend her kenduri. It would be Afiq's first kenduri kahwin. ;) How very exciting!!

Talking about wedding preparations with Deknun, reminds me of my time doing it. Oh, how very busy I was. Everything needed to be bought and carefully thought of. It was hectic, nerve wrecking, tiring.. but darn exciting! I felt like shouting "Hey World!! I'm getting MMMAAARRRIIIIEEEEDDDD!!" And the best thing of all, i'm marrying the man of my dreams. A man I thought did not, could not, exist for the whole idea seemed a little too ideal. I've always dreamed of a guy who would have the guts to just ask me to marry him. A guy who is in love (enough) with me, to have no doubts whatsoever in proposing to me. And I've always thought that it would definitely be nice if I could find someone, get married and fall real hard in love AFTER we're married. And a small miracle if you want to call it that, along came Hubby. Though he didnt exactly proposed on our first date, he made his intentions clear enough for me to understand. And it took us only 2 months from our first date to get enganged, and another 4 months to get married. And yes, I fell in love with my husband over and over and over again.


I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way.

That this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

So dear, I've said this this morning when you sent me to work like I always do, and I say this every night before we both fell asleep, and you know I'll say this just whenever I feel like saying it, because I do mean it. I can't say it enough, but I'll just tell you now, one more time.. I love you so!!
It's our last day with Honda.. AND Wira. Yes, we've decided to let both cars go. From tomorrow onwards, Waja will be the new member of our small family. If we can survive with just one car, we'll probably stick to that for as long as we can. If not, we'll add a smaller member to the family soon. I'm hoping things will go just fine with us having just one car. Other people can do it, why not us? I am extremely looking forward to not having to pay good money monthly for the car. And to a certain extend, the idea of "bersusah-susah sikit" for the time being is, errr for the lack of a better word, nice. I don't want us to feel so senang that we are afraid to feel susah. That's always the case isn't it? You won't miss what you never had. I don't want to have so many things now, I want to feel the struggle, so I will always appreciate the things I own. Gosh.. I hope I won't miss not having my very own car.

As funny as it may sound like, both me and my husband are not exactly happy to have our new car tomorrow. Deep down I feel guilty. Guilty if I were happy to have a new car, and letting Wira go. I know Hubby feels the same way too. But like he said, cars are just "things". There are so many other important matters than just "things". I know. But can't help feeling sad all the same.

On a lighter, and much happier note, we finally made a reservation for our very first holiday. It's going to be in September and I am soooooo looking forward to that. Afiq's first trip via air. Yey!

Ah, the weekend is here. Finally. Can stay home, and do nothing. Have a good weekend, everybody!!

My contract with the company I'm working for is going to expire in 3 months. Time flies so fast. Sedar2 aje, it's going to be 2 years this October.

I don't know what awaits me next. There'll be a meeting tomorrow, between us the contractual staff, and the bosses. From what I've heard, no one will be terminated. But whether or not I'll be offered to be a permanent staff is the main issue for me. I like working here. The job, the people (my colleagues, not our clients.. hehe). Being in a technical team obviously leaves me with lots of time in my hand. When we are busy, we could be spending the night in the office. But when we are not, which is 80% the case, we are left with not much to do. Well, nothing to do except surfing the net, blog, etc etc etc. Yes, my clients would sometimes call me on a Saturday, or Sunday and I sometimes have to go to the office then. But even one hour in the office on those days entitles me to take a day off, who's complaining?

I'll just hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Wish me luck!!


We're going home to Hubby's hometown this weekend. Wan has not been well lately. She was hospitalized last week for high blood pressure. It's only right that we go and visit her this weekend as we didnt go back last week. I am extremely fond of her. She's one of those elderly ladies that you just love from the start. She's so adorable. She packs all sorts of things everytime we go back. Mostly from her garden. Cili api, bendi, daun kucai ( I so love daun kucai, i dont know why. She knows it and she will make sure I'll bring some home, everytime), terung you name it. Oh tempoyak too. She has a stock of tempoyak, penuh satu freezer!!

I think age is finally taking its toll on her. I dread the moment. I know Hubby feels the same way too. Wan and arwah Atok raised Hubby when Hubby's dad passed away when Hubby was only a kid. Mak was left with Hubby.. then 5, his brother 4 and his youngest sis, only 2 then. So Wan and Arwah Atok took Hubby to ease Mak's burden. I didnt have the chance to meet Arwah Atok but I am sure he was a fine man. On my first trip to Hubby's hometown, Wan spoke of Arwah Atok with so much love. She misses him so.

I'm excited to balik kampung. Wan says it's musim durian. Erk. I dont eat durian. I do eat tempoyak though.


It's so boring now, at work. I'm left alone. My boss went outstation. The technician is on MC for 2 days. So I'm alone. Dead bored.

I just can't get more creatiove than this. Gotta stop. I'm killing myself just thinking of what to write.

I was happily sleeping (who's not happy sleeping anyway?) yesterday afternoon when my phone rang. I looked at the screen, it was an unfamiliar number.

"uhhhh... Hello" <- had to clear my throat first before I could finally said Hello. I was in deep slumber, really.
"Naik atas, naik atas" (go up, go up) , said the lady on the line and she hung up.

I was left wide awake, and dazzled. Go up, where? There's no "up" in my house. Plus, even if there is, why would a stranger asked me to go up? I tried my best to remember what day it was. I thought it was Sunday.. was it really Sunday? 5 minutes later, I was assured that it was REALLY Sunday, and we (Hubby, Lil Afiq and me) were taking an afternoon nap. If it were any other days, the "go up" summon would have made a little more sense. Maybe it was one of the officers calling me to go up to look after their system. But even if that was the case, they would have introduced themselves first.

I decided to go back to sleep after telling myself that it was probably someone who has got her numbers mixed up. (But I really don't understand just how anyone could dial a wrong number from a mobile phone, like don't you have your friend's number in the memory, and don't you know when you dial the RIGHT number, the person's name would appear instead of the number? Hmmm ). Not even 5 minutes later, my mobile phone rang again. This time from a fixed line. 03-XX.

"Hello?" <- Now i know she is actually CAPABLE of saying hello!
"Yes, hello", said I.
"Ni sapa?" Don't you just hate it when people call you, on your mobile phone some more, and asked who YOU are?
"You're the one who call me, who are YOU?" i can't stand stupid questions so i was obviously irritated.
"Cikgu Din ada? Cikgu Din!" <- Now i am confirmed, that this lady is a rude one. Can't you just speak a little nicely? I am far from being a Din, and definitely am not a teacher. Nor is Hubby.
"Sorry, I think you dialed a wrong number lah", said I, sweetly if i may add. ;-)
"Ni 019xxxxx ke", she asked, it was MY number alright.
"Huh, takpelah!!" and she hung up again. I think she has to learn to communicate better.

I waited for 5 minutes, to see whether she would call again. She did!! And this time, when she heard me saying hello, she hung up on me for the 3rd time! Again i wonder, didn't she KNOW that I knowwwww she was the one who called before? I mean, didn't she know that the caller number's appears on the screen? Some dumb lady. And yes, at that point of time I was already annoyed.
30 minutes later, another unfamiliar number called. Some people never give up, do they? I picked up the phone and said nothing.
- a few seconds of silence-
"..... Helllo?" she finally said it.
"Yes.. hello", said I.. not so sweetly anymore.
"Bidin ada?" Ya Allah, tak faham faham ke dia ni?
"Kan tadi u dah call? You've got the wrong number", i tried to not be so rude now.
"Macam mana boleh salah nombor?" she asked. Bodoh betul, how am i supposed to know? Doink!
"I dont know. But this is MY number and saya tak kenal mana mana Bidin pun!"
"Oklah oklah" . Huh? Dia yang marah kita balik?

And for the 4th and the last time, she hung up on me. She definitely doesn't know how to say the simple "Bye" or better still "I'm sorry".

I hope she'll find her Bidin real soon and stop calling me. And if YOUR name is Bidin, do me a favor please. Please call any of your friends who has the potential to be rude like that and give her your real number, will you? Thank you.
I'm not good at saying goodbye. More often than not i usually cry my heart out. Some people say, maybe it's easier to say "see you soon" or "til next time". Maybe it is. But in my case, i dont think there will be a next time. I just hate saying goodbye. Even if it's to a car.

Yes. We're selling our car. My husband's car, to be exact. But i drive it to work every day. My husband drives my car. We figured it's more economical that way. I live 3km away from my office (though on good days, it takes 15 minutes to get to work and on bad days... pheeww.. once, it took me 40 minutes! - i hate the traffic!), while my husband works some 40-50 km away from home. So he drives my Wira and I, his Honda.

Our Honda carries a lot of memory for us, me and Hubby. Yes, it's an old car. Come next year, the car will be a decade old, though Hubby just bought it in 2003. And yes, there were many times we (mostly Hubby actually) had headaches when Honda had problems. But the memories? Plus the satisfaction of pressing the pedal of that 2.0 engine. Mind my technical knowledge about cars. All i know is that it's a 1996 made 2.0 Honda Accord. Dont ask me about horsepower, V-Tec engine or the likes. I wouldnt know. I just know it's a good car to drive.

Hubby bought the car from his boss when his boss decided that the car will be too small for him, his wife and his 4 kids. We work in the same company then, me and Hubby. He had just been transferred back to HQ after spending a year in Miri (or was it Bintulu, i get confused of those 2, always). At first I thought he was a new staff, later on I find out that he has been working for the company for 3-4 years, so I actually came later than him. And i was leaving the company already.

We had a short... shall i say, courtship. Funny thing is, though our department was just beside each other, we never really had a proper conversation, until he said hi through the network. Yes, that's what technology can do to you. ;-). He seemed so different from the person i know, officially that is. So we began "talking" in July 2003. First through the network, then the telephone.

I was then frustrated with my work. I was not born to be a programmer. Nor can i be now. As luck have it, i was offered another job in a bigger company where i am currently working with. I guess it was my going away that sped things a "little". We had our first date on October 4th 2003. First by having breakfast at that restaurant behind the workshop while waiting for my Wira to be serviced,(i know, it's soooooo unromantic, isnt it? But i thought, it's kinda cute seeing him sleepy eyed and all accompanying me for breakfast) and later on in Subang Parade. It was clumsy, as all first dates usually are. But i nearly fell off my chair when he made his intention clear. I thought wow! This guy has guts!

Exactly a week after that, on October 11th, was my last day at the company. We had a sports day then. And it was kinda our first "public appearance" together. If you can count him sitting beside me in the stadium as a public appearance together, that is. It was also the day he is supposed to get his car, the Honda. As if I was not self-conscious enough with the fact that he is sitting beside me in front of all our colleagues, he casually asked me if I would like to go home (as in balik kampung) with him and his new Honda. Again, i nearly fell off my chair. Strangely enough, i didnt really want to say No either. It seemed crazy then. It still seems crazy now, but i really didnt want to say No. I called my mom, I called my dad and stranger still, they both didnt object to my going home to his hometown.

Finally, I thought, what the heck.. Just go lah! If his family doesnt like me, i wouldnt be so broken hearted since it's not like I've fallen for him or anything like that. So with that thought in mind, i said yes. Though i regretted it on our way to Jelebu. I was so nervous i could jump out of the window!

But boy, it turned out soooooo well. The whole family is so warm. I feel accepted right away. And it was then that i first saw the soft side of him, the side i never saw in the office. The "home" side of him. And it was then, i fell in love with him.

The rest, is history. He met my family the next weekend after that. We got engaged on December 27th the very same year. Not even 3 months since our first date. And we got married on May 1st 2004. Yes, not even one year of knowing each other. Some 3 months after that, we celebrated Merdeka day with the big news, I was 5-weeks pregnant!

I got carried away.. didnt i?

My point is, Honda's first trip back to Jelebu was also MY first trip there. We definitely share the memory. And there was a lot more balik kampung trips after that, of course.

I wish we didnt have to let it go. But we do. Honda's getting old. And we have a lot more things to be concerned about, rather than worrying about paying for his next repair. We figured a new car will definitely need less attention, and worrying about. Like i said to Hubby, if God permits maybe one day we could afford another Honda Accord. Just like this one. A newer version of course. Dont you just love those new 2.4 Honca Accord? Hihi.. One day... Maybe 5.. Maybe 10 years from now. It will not hold the same memory, but it will share other good times with us. Definitely.

Oh well, we have to do what we have to do. Until Honda is taken away from us, I will enjoy every second driving that 3km to work. I know i will miss driving it.

I'm going to cry now.. It's just so sad!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with my old blog. Well, if you can call it a blog - I probably have written some 10 or maybe 15 entries. That's quite an achivement, really. I dont know what makes me stop writing and i am more puzzled as to what makes me want to start writing again. I envy those people who seems to be able to write so effortlessly. People who makes everyday routine seems soooo much fun. People who have no problem whatsoever in expressing their inner thoughts and feelings. Me? I have SOOOO many things to say. and talk about, but i absolutely have no flair for writing. O well..

Annnnnnyway... it's my 8th day of work, after a long long long break. 60 day-leave. Yup.. maternity leave. I gave birth to a beauuuuuuuuuutiful baby boy. On the first week of the maternity leave, i remember thinking.."60 days off.. that's like eternity!" But time flies so fast when you're having fun. The next thing i know.. i'm back in the office, albeit reluctantly. AND was greeted with a to-do-list from my boss who was on leave. What a list. Until No 12 i tell ya!!

Life has definitely changed since Afiq joined our little family 67 days ago. I honestly didnt think i was capable of doing "it" all.. you know.. those things mothers do. Diaper change, feeding, figuring out the reason babies cry. Those things. I thought i was not meant to be. I still have my doubts which probably will be an entirely different entry later, but i found out much to my relief that to a certain extend, I AM capable. Yeyyy!!!

I will write more soon. I hope. ;-). I need to keep my thoughts, written somewhere. There are just too many in my head as it is. There are certain things, emotions, that I sooo wish I could keep on feeling. Like this over flowing love i felt this morning for Afiq, when he smiled sooo innocently as i reach for him... or how very grateful I am for having a husband who had stayed up literally all night looking after Afiq who didnt want to sleep, just because i was having a tummy-ache although he had just came back from a day-trip to Labuan. A simple act like that reminded me of how truly lucky I am, to be loved by this man. And how much in love I am with him. Blessed, I am.